If you're going to cry, you know what they say: there's no better time to do it than on a Monday afternoon at your desk.
The latest trailer for “The Fault in Our Stars” is here, and if you have even an ounce of a soul left it's bound to make you tear up at least a little bit. Or, you know, feel something, for chrissakes. What are we, robots?
“I'm a grenade,” says Shailene Woodley's cancer-stricken Hazel. “And one day I'm gonna blow up, and I'm gonna obliterate everything in my wake, and I don't wanna hurt you.” SOB!
I am not even kidding, you guys: This trailer freaking destroyed me. Here are six other parts that made me weepy.
1. The part where the sweet-faced Augustus (Ansel Elgort) says “You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world, but you do have a say in who hurts you.” TEARS! Because it's so true, Augustus! You don't get to choose! But you gotta pick yourself up and keep trying! *sniffle*
2. “I am in love with you, Hazel Grace.” Oh no… “And I know that love is just a shout into the void and that oblivion is inevitable, and I am in love with you.” DOUBLE SOB! Because she has cancer and thought she'd never hear those words, but now she has and she's crying and I'm crying and we're crying together! Me and Shailene are crying together. I love you, Shailene.
3. The part where the music swells and the lyrics are all like, “If that's what you wanted” and I do, oh I do want it, I want it now, give it to meeee! <FACE CRINKLING, TEARS STREAMING WE ARE ALL ONLY HUMAN AFTER ALL>
4. The part where the shirt gets stuck on Hazel's breathing tube. Hahaahaha oh shoot, Hazel! Oh, I am laughing. I'm laughing and I'm crying all at once! **Wipes eyes, continues crying**
5. The part where Shailene is crying on her bed and her parents are like, “Oh, don't cry, honey, don't cry.” OH MY GOD I CAN'T EVEN LAURA DERN *snot running*
6. “It's a good life, Hazel Grace. Okay?” “Okay.” HAPPY TEARS, BECAUSE IT IS <HUGS LAPTOP>
LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL, PEOPLE.
“The Fault in Our Stars” hits theaters on June 6.