I don’t care what anyone says, this is the best Lonely Island moment

The Lonely Island, that ragtag trio of musically silly SNL alums Andy Samberg, Jorma Taccone, and Akiva Schaffer, is getting its own Fox sketch series entitled Party Over Here. Though the trio itself won't appear as regular cast members, they'll produce the show, which so far stars Jessica McKenna, Nicole Byer, and Alison Rich. It will air on Saturday nights, but it won't conflict with SNL since it's slated for an 11 p.m. slot. 

This is all well and good, but more importantly, it's an opportunity for me to point out the single best moment in any Lonely Island video. You may have your preferences like Michael Bolton's tribute to Jack Sparrow or Justin Timberlake's special, phallic present, but I am telling you those are incorrect. The greatest moment in the Lonely Island oeuvre occurs at 0:45 in the following video, entitled “J*zz in my Pants.”

The best Lonely Island moment has nothing to do with premature ejaculation or the look on Jamie-Lynn Sigler's face at the cash register. No. It is the utter nonsense of the first couplet out of Jorma Taccone's mouth. And I quote: “I need a few things from the grocery / I do things alone now mostly.”

The layers of funny: 1) No one refers to a grocery store as “the grocery”; 2) “grocery” does not rhyme with “mostly”; 3) the nonsense in announcing “I do things alone now mostly,” which is both creepy and a non-sequitur; 4) the “sexy” yet defeatist cadence in which he announces he's always alone; 5) this is really just a couplet about being at a grocery store by himself, not even close to crucial information; 6) It's weirder the more you think about it; 7) I've thought about it a lot.

Sure, I'll watch this show. Why not? I do things alone now mostly. 

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