‘Iron Fist’ Doubles As A Master Class In How Not To Return From The Dead

03.20.17 10 Comments

Netflix

WARNING: Spoilers for Marvel’s Iron Fist ahead.

The idea of lost loved ones returning from the dead is as old as storytelling itself. It’s a major theme in mythology and religion. Even Shakespeare utilized it. In today’s entertainment landscape, the trope has appeared everywhere from soap operas to superheroes. Fans even joke that a character’s demise doesn’t count unless it happens onscreen. So there’s nothing inherently wrong with Marvel’s Iron Fist using Danny Rand’s mysterious return to New York City as the jumping off point of the Netflix series. Everything Iron Fist sets up is true to the character’s origin: Danny does go missing for years after an accident in the Himalayan mountains. He and his parents are presumed dead. So far, so good. But the way Iron Fist goes about reintroducing Danny to Western society is so naive that it is borderline — no, completely — idiotic.

From his first moments on screen, every single choice Danny Rand (Finn Jones) makes is one of a moron. I spent most of the first two episodes wondering why a grown-ass man would think this erratic, insane behavior would earn him the trust of his former childhood friends instead of rightful ridicule and rejection that normal humans would expect and plan for. In an attempt to keep anyone else from repeating Danny’s obvious mistakes should they need to prove they’re truly back from the dead, let’s break down everywhere the Iron Fist went wrong.

1.) Do not dress like a homeless hipster
Let’s say you’ve been away from home since you were ten years old and you want to impress upon your childhood friends — who now own a significant chunk of your multi-billion dollar company — that you are who you say you are. The last time they saw you, you hadn’t even hit puberty, so it would stand to reason you might not be immediately recognizable. Your best bet on getting close enough to talk to them is by looking like you belong. A nice suit, a slick haircut, a pair of shoes. Do not go in barefoot wearing pajamas that look older than time itself.

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