Happy holidays from Litchfield, where Santa Claus made an ill-advised stop and got jumped.
As recounted by the stars of “Orange Is the New Black,” old St. Nick landed his sleigh, driven by “eight little cute-ass reindeer,” in the yard. When the inmates realized that he had a bag full of swag, they “MAY have robbed and roughed up St. Nick.”
And just what did the bag contain? Books, grass (like, sod. Not pot), tampons, porn (for the guards) and much more! It's a little gift for fans while we wait for Season 4, which will probably premiere in the summer.