Welcome to Outrage Watch, HitFix's semi-regular rundown of entertainment-related kerfuffles. Not feeling anxious enough already? Get your fix of righteous indignation below, and stay posted for outrage updates throughout the week.
Just when you start getting excited about the new Indiana Jones, Friday has to come around and steal all your joy: David Koepp, longtime Steven Spielberg collaborator who wrote the widely-reviled Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (and directed Mortdecai, but let's not go there) has officially signed on to pen the script for the fifth installment.
But first, in fairness: the controversial idea to insert aliens into the Indiana Jones universe was not Koepp's but, famously, producer George Lucas's, who at this point has no involvement with the upcoming movie. Also in fairness: let's not forget that Koepp wrote Jurassic Park for Spielberg and boasts other well-regarded credits including Sam Raimi's Spider-Man and David Fincher's Panic Room.
Now then! There are a lot of other problems in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull aside from the extraterrestrial element, from that horrifying “Shia swinging with monkeys” moment to the infamous “nuke the fridge” scene to the cartoonish bent of Cate Blanchett's Natasha-esque villain Irina Spalko (whom Koepp created). And also…god, what isn't mildly-disappointing-to-outright-terrible about Kingdom of the Crystal Skull?
Listen, this movie is so widely hated amongst Indiana Jones diehards that it even inspired an entire episode of South Park, and Spielberg and company had to have known that bringing the screenwriter of that film back would stoke the flames of controversy. Nonetheless, here we are…and the Twitter bile is spewing. Here's just a sampling of the hate:
Just read the writer of Indy 5 is the same guy that wrote Crystal Skull. https://t.co/IyQWGe5trc pic.twitter.com/156C50s1hT
– TODD SPENCE (@Todd_Spence) March 18, 2016
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Uh-oh. Spielberg hires ‘Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” writer for Indiana Jones 5: https://t.co/gQKJKsSRW6 pic.twitter.com/cpHTF7PhZ3
– ScreenCrush (@screencrushnews) March 18, 2016
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You maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell! (David Koepp to write ‘Indiana Jones 5″ ) https://t.co/yH4onCHLLR
– StandBy4MindControl (@StandBy4MindCtl) March 18, 2016
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David Koepp again?! WHY??!! #IndianaJones5
– Nick Bosworth (@Nick_Boz) March 18, 2016
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Steven Spielberg has hired David Koepp, who wrote Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, for the NEW NEW Indy. WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA STEVEN?
– Morphyix (@morphyix) March 18, 2016
Why in the hell would they get the Crystal Skull guy to do #Indy5??? Noooooooo!
– Lourdes (@lourdes_g) March 19, 2016
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David Koepp official writing INDIANA JONES 5. Why Steven? Why?!
– Brandon Thomas (@brandoncliff) March 18, 2016
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Crystal Skull screenwriter David Koepp announced as writer of #IndianaJones 5. Yeah, this is gonna be terrible.
– Alex Biese (@ABieseAPP) March 18, 2016
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Why??? Writer Of KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL Writing INDIANA JONES 5 – David Koepp returns to Indy. https://t.co/xAwalDbFPv via @bmoviesd
– Punter (@Punter01) March 18, 2016
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With David Koepp hired as screenwriter, my hopes for Indy 5 is more or less destroyed(not too late Lucasfilm, hired someone else!)
– Justin Smith (@JJSmith910) March 18, 2016
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Spielberg chose David Koepp who wrote the God-awful Kingdom of the Crystal Skull to write the new Indiana Jones movie. #HeChosePoorly
– Steve (@StevenMSchmidt1) March 18, 2016