Translating Peter Capaldi’s Permanent ‘Doctor Who’ Bitch Face

The time is nigh! In one day, Peter Capaldi bursts onto the scene as The Doctor in the new season of BBC's “Doctor Who.” Playing the 12th incarnation (or 13th or 14th depending on your math), Capaldi has promised his Doctor will be darker. And he's going to prove it by giving laser-eyed hate vision to every camera within a 500 yard radius. But what does each glare really mean?

#1 – Capaldi Annoyance Meter: 8
He is clearly done with this photoshoot. His gaze pierces into the soul of the photographer, who collapses into a puddle of tears. They're sorry. So, so sorry. But they have to take just one or two more photos.

Photo Credit: BBC

Translation:

2 – Capaldi Annoyance Meter: 4
It is far too bright outside to be a proper London day. Capaldi is clearly annoyed by this unseasonable post-production cheeriness. Just let it be gloomy!

Photo Credit: BBC

Translation:

#3 – Capaldi Annoyance Meter: 6
Clearly these are the wrong warming pans for a scene set as an afternoon tea. DOES HE HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING HIMSELF, MOFFAT? You know what, never mind. Capaldi isn't mad; he's just disappointed.

Photo Credit: BBC

Translation:

#4 – Capaldi Annoyance Meter: 5
That is not the face of restrained rage. Oh no. That is the face of tolerance that will turn to rage if someone from hair doesn't come fix this travesty immediately. Capaldi is no mop-headed boy in Converse sneakers. 

Photo Credit: BBC

Translation:

#5 – Capaldi Annoyance Meter: 7
Perhaps he can GLARE the sun into hiding. Honestly does no one know how to properly set the mood for a Doctor who has no time for frivolities. 

Photo Credit: BBC

Translation:

#6 – Capaldi Annoyance Meter: 10
HE WILL SMITE YOU IN THE NAME OF GALLIFREY. ALL HAIL LORD CAPALDI. ALL HAIL.

Photo Credit: BBC

Translation:

Is it too late to petition for the last GIF to be the official catchphrase for 12?

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