On Wednesday I joked a little bit about how this was becoming the Twitter Television Association press tour, full of funny soundbytes and devoid of actual news.
Then Thursday (July 30) came along and suddenly everything was fun, exciting and newsworthy up in Pasadena for the TCA.
We got an update on the progress of “Jon & Kate Plus 8,” which doesn’t matter to me, but absolutely matters to many readers.
HBO went through its whole slate, from “True Blood” to “Big Love” to “Treme,” renewing and setting premiere dates galore.
And Larry David told us how this season of “Curb Your Enthusiasm” will be the “Seinfeld” reunion we’ve all been waiting for. Only not exactly.
All of those things were solid and newsy. In fact, with more time and less of an ongoing headache, I also could have written stories on a subdued and sincere (but also very funny) Robin Williams preparing to return to the stage after his heart surgery. Or I could have compiled all of the times people said “penis,” “dick” or “cock” in the double-entendre-filled “Hung” session. I also could have written something about Mo’Nique, who may get an Oscar nomination for “Precious” while she’s hosting a BET late night show.
Instead, I’ve put those aside for a later date and just compiled a selection of the day’s best quotes, some of which are a little blue…
Colette Burson on the main character’s still-unseen “special tool” on “Hung”: “We think of it as a Platonic penis on a certain level, like the perfect idealized penis. So there is a certain problem inherent in showing it because it might be too big for some people, too small for others. So we sort of think it”s perfect for everybody who comes in contact with it.”
The currently red-hot Zach Galifianakis on losing time to go do stand-up: “I”m going to really miss the Uncle Chuckles in Tampa. Stand-up is the world that I know, and it”s the thing I”m most comfortable with, as far the freedom goes and your own boss and all that. I think as soon as I”m a wash-up in a couple of years, I will return to stand-up.”
Thomas Jane, of “Hung” again, on how you never know when you’re getting involved with something good: “You just want to look at the cards that you are being dealt and the week you are being dealt them and make those decisions based on that. You know, the fact is that it”s all f***ing fate and luck, man. This is fate and luck that we are all up here together talking to you about a show about a guy with a big dick. Right? Fate and luck. There is no reason this show should be good. The show should be bad. It”s about a guy with a big dick who f***s people for money.”
A.J. Lamas of “The Lamas Family” on using a reality show to reconnect with Papa Lorenzo: “I felt the same way, man. I”m like, ‘A f****** TV show to bring us back together?’ But you know what? Honestly, if it takes a TV show for me and this guy to come back together, then so be it. You know, like he said, we”ve seen more of each other in these past two weeks than we”ve seen in four years. And we”re working on it. I have my issues with him from when I was younger. He has his with me, you know. But it”s – watch the show.”
Larry David, explaining his unusual level of happiness: “I was talking to somebody earlier, I was saying that this Larry is kind of melding with ‘Curb’-Larry and I love ‘Curb’-Larry. Always hated this Larry. And so I”m getting a little like ‘Curb’-Larry, we”re melding a little bit. So, yes, I am a little happier.”
An impressively slimmed down Mo’Nique on her weight loss: “I hope the message that it does send to big women is we can be big women but let”s be healthy big women. Right now I”m 220 pounds. I want to get down to an even 200 pounds. And that”s healthy for Mo”Nique. I have had people say to me, well, are you fraudulent now because you told big women it was okay to be big. Well, I still say that, it”s still okay to be big, but let”s be big and healthy. So I hope people walk away with, you know what, I want to meet my grandchildren. And the reason why I lost weight, I started at 262, now 220, between 220/224. But I have sons that are three years old, and I have a son who is 19 years old, and I want to have the opportunity to meet their children, and hopefully their children. So that”s why I had to lose some of the weight, get myself healthier, because I want to be around. And I don”t think that that”s a message that people will walk away with and say, “Oh, my god, what are big women going to do.” Well, we want to be here. I can”t be too much smaller because my head is big.”
Robin Williams on whether, post-heart surgery, he has any new goals: “Yes. I want to dance. No, I don”t. Dive out of a plane, this time with a chute. I don”t know. Nothing yet. I haven”t made that list yet, like a bucket list of some things I want to do. And I just want to appreciate – I”ve been doing this thing of really calling up everybody I know. ‘I”m alive, ha, ha. F*** you,’ calling up all of my friends and just saying ‘Thank you, man. Thanks for being there.’ And then the amazing thing was all of the people who wrote, Twittered, emailed, and said, ‘Hey, it”s good that you are still here.’ I went ‘Thank you, man. Thank you.’ You know, it”s that weird thing that you go ‘It”s great to be here.’ It really is an appreciation in interesting times as we are living in, in a time when the world is changing. And I think we are coming through it, and I think that”s my object is, to kind of go ‘We can make it,’ you know, with a little bit of comedy, a little bit of laughter. And we”ll find it, and I”ll find it.”
Zak George of Animal Planet’s “Superfetch,” on whether animal rights activities might disapprove of some of the “human” things he’s training animals to do: “There’s no bigger animal rights person in the world than me. I have to tell you that we take our relationship with our dogs to the next level. That”s what ‘SuperFetch’ is all about. It”s about taking the relationship with the dog to the next level and really challenging them to see what they are truly capable of. It”s our policy that dogs must be treated like royalty, not only on the show, but in real life. It”s about identifying what the dog can do and making their life better, thereby improving our lives as well.”