‘Project Runway’ recap: ‘Candy Couture’

07.26.12 5 years ago 2 Comments


Time for the unconventional challenge! And possibly some drama. And some crying. But that’s only if we believe the promo from last week, though I don’t think all of that cray-cray will be coming at us right away. Still, I’d welcome some tears and hysteria, only because the unconventional challenge is so often miserable. We’ve gotten some miraculous outfits out of this one (I recall a pretty stunning plastic cup dress a while back), but mostly it’s just torture — for the designers as well as us. But let the week of stiff, weird, unwearable designs begin!

Wakey-wakey, designers! It’s a brand new morning, and our “PR” crew must assess the bloodshed of the night before. Lantie was stunned to end up in the bottom three. Um, really?

Kooan is sad. He was so confident with his Harajuku designs. He now realizes his sewing needs to be better. This time, everything must be perfect! Except his English! My colleague Greg thinks Kooan is faking his stilted English, but I’m not sure. All I can say is his English is much, much better than my Japanese.

Heidi talks to the designers about kid stuff and sweets. Sweets? Kid stuff? Whaaa? The designers don’t know what to think, but Dmitry already doesn’t like it. I think he probably hates children. And candy. And joy.

They go to Dylan’s Candy Bar and meet Tim Gunn and Dylan Lauren. Dylan’s dad is Ralph Lauren, so she likes candy AND polo shirts! She’s also the guest judge. The designers can raid her candy bar for their outfit. Raul does not seem happy. But Gunnar LOVES candy! Tee-hee!

Tim informs us that Dylan is such a doll, she’s giving “PR” designers 50 percent off! So they can buy $500 worth of product. Gunnar actually dreamed about a candy challenge! He’s thrilled! He giggles maniacally. I think Gunnar might be bipolar.

Buffi notes that it would be stupid to pick up actual T-shirts at the store, which are available. Cut to Andrea picking up T-shirts.

Dylan tells everyone not to eat the candy. So Lantie eats the candy. What is this, reverse world? Let’s take the designers to the zoo and let one of them say, “It would be really dumb to try to hug a polar bear” just to see what happens. Christopher wants to buy a chocolate boyfriend. Well, it is a big candy store. Try upstairs.

Fabio wants to create a Chanel suit. except he calls it a tcha-nel suit. Tcha, as in chocolate or cheap. I now have grave doubts about Fabio. That’s either a cute little accent or he doesn’t know how to pronounce Chanel. Buffi is creating a circle dress. Elena likes her linear licorice, which looks like pasta. Hmm, her sketch looks exactly like her first outfit. I like the body armor thing, but I’m starting to think that’s all she wants to do.

Christopher notices Gunnar rolling his eyes in his direction. Christopher just hopes everyone (read Gunnar) behaves him or herself. Gunnar thinks Christopher is jealous of him. Right. Because the guy who won the first challenge is REALLY threatened by the guy who wasn’t even in the top three.

Alicia is doing a one-shouldered overall. You know, in keeping with her lesbian tomboy design aesthetic. Which is what I consider “denim crap you buy at the mall for your kids.”

Christopher feels Gunnar is his evil twin, while he’s the nice twin. I see a movie! 

Buffi smashes things with a hammer, so Lantie gets a headache. Lantie is so sensitive! I hope Buffi walks over to Lantie and gives her a knock on the head. Just to help her with her headache, of course.

Andrea was born on Halloween. so she has a strong connection to candy. She thinks she has this one nailed. That’s always a bad sign, isn’t it?

Kooan is making a Twizzler sweater dress. Or at least he is right now. We’ll see what happens.

Tim time! Nathan is worried about the weight of his extremely heavy skirt. Tim tells him he’s fine. Tell that to the model, Tim. Next up, Christopher. Tim thinks his outfit is incredibly ambitious. Gunnar thinks it sucks, because it’s not what HE would have done if HE’D had immunity. Shut up, Gunnar.Go be the evil twin elsewhere for a minute.

Tim is shocked that Raul’s outfit is candy. It’s just so good! He likes Melissa’s odd, sad stringy thing. He wants Elena to commit to her monochromatic dress, which I think is his nice way of saying “it’s too late to change it.” He loves Sonjia’s blue shark dress. Ven thinks she has a wow factor. I think she does, too.

Tim tells Ven he’s in a glue the bleep out of it moment. Tim loves Buffi’s outfit, but Lantie thinks Buffi has no taste. Pot, meet kettle. I think Lantie should go find a beef jerky drying locker in which to finish her petrification process. The woman looks like a handbag.

Gunnar kisses up to Tim. Tim seems okay with his ugly peplum, though the rest of the dress is actually pretty nice. Is that even possible? I would think it would ooze evil in some way. Or at least crazy. Dmitry is waiting for his model before he starts beading, which Tim thinks is a really bad idea. Tim thinks Kooan needs to get to work, and his dress no longer looks like a sweater dress. Tim loves Alicia’s idea, but she needs to, you know, finish. Same with Lantie.

Then, we get to Andrea. Tim’s completely underwhelmed by Andrea. It looks like a craft project. She’s shocked. I’m shocked she’s shocked. She starts taking apart her apron/dress/mess and then realizes she doesn’t have to follow Tim’s advice. Too late!

Elena wants to puke from the smell of her pina colada candy. But Gunnar LOVES his candy!

Next, Gunnar flits around telling everyone how great their outfits are. He’s having so much FUN! Christopher thinks he’s schizoid. I think Gunnar needs to take his medication more regularly.

Ven thinks Sonjia is going to be in the top two with him. Sonjia thinks she’s an edgier kind of designer than Ven. I think they’re both right.

Lantie abruptly tosses out her design and STARTS OVER. Everyone knows this is a bad idea, but Lantie doesn’t seem to care.

Elena burns herself. Christopher can’t understand why she wore hootchie shorts in the work room! Good point, actually.

Elena feels tired and defeated. And her burns still hurt. And she’s making a dress that looks like a weird craft project, but she doesn’t complain about that.

Kooan’s cotton candy melts. Oh no! So does Buffi’s cotton candy hair ornament. I think this is the universe telling them both that they’ve gone way too far overboard. Lantie’s outfit doesn’t dissolve, but I wish it would. She thinks it’s very unique. Well, every dog poop is one of a kind, I suppose.

Time for the runway! Models, don’t sit down or touch anything!

Heidi shows up wearing her pajamas. We meet our judges – Nina Garcia, Michael Kors and Dylan Lauren.

licorice, candy foil
I hate the peplum. It looks like a hardened garbage bag. A simple sheath would have been so much better.

gummy sharks, jelly beans, gumballs
This is awfully cute. I love the sharks. It doesn’t even look like candy — more like sea glass. Hate the stupid little hat, though.

black licorice, silver twist ties
I really like the skirt, but I’m not loving the top. It looks a little overdone. The exposed midriff is way too junior’s department for me.

foiled chocolaté, handball, candy boxes
This is actually fun. The foiled chocolate just looks so playful. Also a little Easter-ish.

candy dots, umbrella, tart candy
I’m on the fence about this. It’s more interesting than I thought it was going to be. The bustle makes a huge difference, at least to me. I think she saved it.

jelly beans, sour strings, gumballs
This scream craft project to me. It looks stiff but not in an intentional way. Blech.

pina colada licorice
There are definitely some missing Twizzlers here. It looks like macaroni.

sour strips, crushed rock candy
I like this — I wish I could take a closer look at it. Is the skirt muslim dyed with candy? But not very Tca-nel.

sour balls, black T-shirt
I think he’ll get dinged for using a T-shirt. But I love this. It actually moves — which is possible when you’re using a T-shirt instead of an all-candy construction.

cotton candy, licorice, jelly beans
I think the model is going to pass out under the immense weight of this thing. I wish he’d stopped embellishing about four hours before he actually stopped.

licorice, rock candy
This could pass as a beaded gown. Good job. But, again, wish I could get a closer look. Is there a gaping hole in the back? Or are those white candy “beads”?

Gummy strips, umbrella, Life Savers
I love the colors on this dress. In this case, the exposed midriff just seems summery, not hootchie. There’s a level of sophistication you don’t expect with candy.

sour strips, tissue paper, cotton candy
Oh, oh. Way too much. I wish she’d passed on the dead bird nest and the necklace. Then, it might have worked. Well, maybe not the tissue paper skirt. Was hot pink all that was available in the tissue paper aisle? My eyes hurt.

umbrellas, rain boots, hard candy
Not enough candy, and the candy that is there? Beyond tacky. Looks like kids’ clothing.

black licorice, crushed rock candy
It’s very pretty. I like that he had a simple idea and he executed it well. You could wear this, easy.

Gunnar, Elena, Ven, Sonjia, Lantie and Buffi are called forward. Everyone else is in the middle and can leave the runway.

Andrea is hugely relieved that she’s in the middle. The designers guess the top are Ven, Sonjia and either Gunnar or Elena. They’re worried Buffi is going home.

Up first is Buffi. She was going with a Carrie from “Sex and the City” vibe. Heidi loves this challenge, but she thinks the model is over accessorized. She looks like a five year old going to a birthday party. Michael Kors thinks it’s “Toddlers & Tiaras” gone berserk. Nina thought the skirt was easy and the styling is atrocious. Dylan thought it was fun, though she doesn’t love the skirt.

Sonjia talks about her dress. Heidi likes the texture and the back of the dress. She wishes she hadn’t gone with the hat. Turquoise is Dylan’s favorite color, so she loves it. Michael thinks it looks connected. Nina doesn’t mind that it looks like a costume.

Michael thinks Lantie made the same crap all over again. Lantie doesn’t agree with Michael. There’s not enough time! Michael points out that everyone else had enough time. Nina is tired of hearing excuses out of Lantie.

Ven talks about his stained glass window dress. Heidi thinks he has great taste. She’d love to wear it. Nina thinks it’s sublime and on trend. Michael loves that it isn’t over accessorized, and that it’s chic. He says Ven understands women’s bodies. Dylan thinks he took it to an artistic level, but she wishes he’d used more types of candy.

Elena’s outfit has already started falling apart. Heidi knew it was Elena’s outfit, but it looks like a macaroni dress. Michael thought it looked like rigatoni Mad Max. Michael thinks she can do her warrior woman thing, but it should make women look nice. Heidi thinks the model looks like a dude. Dylan thinks it’s flat. Nina says it has no spirit or fun, and it’s a damn candy challenge.

Gunnar talks about his nice dress with its ugly peplum. He calls a homage a home-ege. Dylan would put it on display in her show window. Nina thinks it’s cute. Michael says it looks like a woven raffia dress.

Michael gives Gunnar points for using candy in his accessories. Heidi thinks he’s cute, too. Oh, my. They think Sonjia’s dress is whimsical. Michael thinks she made disparate things look cohesive. Ven’s dress was gorgeous. Dylan is torn between Sonjia and Ven. Heidi has one person. Michael and Nina declare Sonjia and Ven’s dresses candy couture.

They’re sick of Lantie’s excuses. They declare Buffi’s dress hideous. Nina really didn’t like it. But Michael gives her points for transforming the material. Michael thinks Elena’s model looked like she was wearing a cardboard box. Plus, he thinks Elena was arrogant.

I think Sonjia for the win and Lantie for the door. But let’s see what happens!

Ven… is the winner! Good. Ven thanks the judges profusely. Sonjia and Gunnar can leave the runway.

Elena is… in. It’s down to Lantie and Buffi. Lantie is… out. Yay! Buffi is in.

I suspect Buffi never had a shot at going home, as she’s probably a producer favorite.

Lantie is surprised that she’s going home. She, like, thought the candy challenge was so not her anyway. She does beautiful things. And sews beautifully.

Next week, it’s a team challenge — and the designers will be dressing former “Project Runway” designers. Oh, that sounds fun! I feel sorry for whoever gets Kensley, just saying.


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