I understand why Lisa isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Sometimes she sticks her nose where it isn’t wanted (hey, that’s how you stay on a reality TV show, people). She freezes out anyone she feels has wronged her (sorry, Kyle). But she’s usually the one woman on the show who’s able to step back, arch an eyebrow at the silliness of it all, and say something pithy about it. That counts for a lot given how many of these crazy ladies seem to think their tempests in teapots are real world problems. You didn’t come to my expensive party! The sky is falling, the sky is falling! Is that a poor person? Eww!
But Lisa has stood on the sidelines unscathed for too long, I guess. It’s apparently her turn to be the focus of the other Housewives’ petty complaints and high-pitched screaming. Lucky girl! Sure, Brandi may have a reason to feel manipulated by Lisa, but I’m not sure Brandi is the clueless victim she wants us to believe she is. But if she can paint Lisa as the one pulling her strings, it certainly makes it easier for her to become buddy-buddy with Kyle and Kim. Hey, you guys! I never really disliked you! I was BRAINWASHED!
Kyle and Kim are certainly happy to have Brandi joining them on the anti-Lisa bandwagon, and Yolanda seems to be disenchanted with Lisa, too. I wonder if Lisa ever could have dreamed that some pretty minor offenses — planning a party on the same day as Yolanda’s stepdaughter’s wedding, letting Scheana work any events or parties Brandi planned to attend, asking Kim how she was feeling post rehab, making a joke about Mauricio catting around — would come back to bite her in the ass like this. Lisa, as Yolanda says, is all about Lisa. But which one of these women doesn’t fit that description? It’s not like we’re watching The Real Nuns of New Skete or something.
Anyway, it looks like Lisa’s going to be spending a fair amount of time crying next week, which will probably make Brandi feel guilty and Kyle feel awesome. I think it will probably make most of us feel uncomfortable, like watching a politician cry while admitting to check kiting or sucking prostitute toes. It may be necessary, but you just don’t want to see it.
Maybe Lisa can become fast friends with Carlton, who seems to have lost favor with more than a few of her castmates for last week’s oversized meltdown with Kyle. Even Brandi can’t defend Carlton’s freak out, and Joyce seems to be firmly Team Kyle. Maybe Carlton, Yolanda and Lisa can start their own expat coven, slipping crystals into their bras and taking pole dancing classes. Because hey, ratings!
After all, this week we did get full frontal nudity as Brandi and Kim got spray tans together (besties!) and then there was some shopping (something for everyone!). And hey, we also got further proof that Carlton can actually do witchcraft, which might tap into the “Witches of East End” audience if nothing else. Kyle showed Joyce the creepy words that floated across her screen saver — bigot, travesty, wraith and larva — which suggests to me not that Carlton is sending bad juju her way, but that one of Kyle’s kids is messing with her.
But the big drama this week really had to do with the dumb crown. Kyle, for some unknown reason, asked Brandi to give it to Carlton, as it went with the necklace she’d given her. Carlton refused to accept it, and Lisa asked some seemingly innocuous questions — does that even go with that? Is that a peace offering? — which made Brandi and Kyle FURIOUS. I suspect that if Lisa had stood there, sipping a drink and nodding, they would have found that infuriating, too. Instead of anyone considering that hey, this was not a big deal, and Kyle shouldn’t be angry that Lisa thought she was trying to be NICE to Carlton, it was just another nail in Lisa’s coffin.
Maybe Lisa can just focus on “Vanderpump Rules” (if it comes back). The drama is just as ridiculous, but on that show, she has the advantage of being the boss.
Do you think Kyle and Brandi are being unfair? Do you think Carlton should forgive Kyle? What did you think of the jewelry exchange?