Earlier today JJ Abrams continued to fight the good fight of tricking people into donating charity for their own selfish gain. With only one week left to donate to ‘Star Wars: A Force For Change,” Abrams returned to up sweeten the pot. Now donations not only get you and a friend a trip to the set and a chance to be in the film, but your town gets an advanced screening of Episode VII as well.
But while Abrams talks about saving the children or whatever other Lawful Good nonsense, the important thing is happening behind him. JJ ABRAMS WHAT DID YOU DO TO THAT POOR X-WING?! X-Wings aren”t blue! Clearly you haven”t done your research…or have you? Here are some reasons – in no particular order of reasonableness – for the change.
#1 – JJ Abrams is King Star Wars nerd. He knows that originally the X-Wing squadrons were supposed to be blue instead of red but blue screen technology kept Lucas”s dream of azure striped starfighters from becoming a reality.
#2 – JJ Abrams just really likes the way blue makes the orange jumpsuits pop.
#3 – JJ Abrams is Prince Star Wars nerd. He remembers there was a Blue squadron in ‘Return of the Jedi” but their stripes were red…not blue.
#4 – JJ Abrams told them to just use leftover paint because set budgets don”t stretch forever.
#5 – JJ Abrams is colorblind and no one has the heart to tell him the stripes aren”t as red as he thinks.
#6 – JJ Abrams wanted to get back to basics. Blue Team is always the good guys and Red Team is always the bad guys. Red is for Sith, not the New Republic duh.
#7 – JJ Abrams is fucking with us because he can.
BONUS: That”s not even a real X-Wing but some sort of New Age hippie upgrade. Notice it only has two engines which appear to split in half when the foils/wings are open. This allows for a more seamless aerodynamic seal incapable on Rebellion era T-65 models. But in space, do aerodynamics really matter???
Alternatively, only the S-foils open into tiny little baby X-Wings, leaving the engine intact. Which would be ADORABLE.