It”s time to capitulate: Angelea has a personality that makes the saints cry, and she has the shoulders of a 400-year-old banshee who lives in a cairn, and she has a weave that belongs in the backup wig closet at the House of Xtravaganza, but she can model.
At the opening of this episode of Cycle 14 of “America’s Next Top Model,” Angelea makes no bones about how happy she is that she got the No. 1 picture last week and saw the elimination of archenemy Brenda. Raina is bummed at Brenda”s departure; the two were buddies. Alexandra is sad too, but for a different reason: Her photos ain”t great.
[Full recap of Thursday’s (April 21) “America’s Next Top Model” after the break…]
Whitney Port and legendary supermodel Pat Cleveland arrive at the penthouse. Everybody is thrilled that Port is there, not so much Cleveland, which says everything about this crop of contestants. The girls get to wear Port”s clothes, while Cleveland offers some time with each girl to help them discover “brilliant and wonderful things” about themselves. Jessica puts on something that looks like a junior prom dress smashed into a mantilla. Jessica thinks she looks elegant.
Once they”re all dolled up, the girls are taken to a Chinese-themed drag club. The drag queen equivalent of Tyra Banks emerges and does a little dance. “You cannot compete with a drag queen,” Anslee observes. A wise observation, that.
Miss J. Alexander jumps up on the stage to announce the challenge: “a runway challenge with personality.” The audience will be the judges. Alexandra hopes she doesn”t repeat what happened the last time she was on a runway — or, more specifically, falling off of a runway.
“All eyes will be on me,” she says. Well, no, all eyes will be on the drag queens and Angelea”s mesmerizingly concave shoulders through which no light can escape, but we all have our own perspective, I guess.
Angelea is up first; she seems to please the crowd. Jessica, who feels elegant in her dress, tries to walk elegant. Not so much. Alexandra bombs, but Krista brings the house down with her old-school mannequin pose. Very house of LaBeija. Raina also seems to please. Anslee offers no personality at all. “No energy,” Angelea sniffs.
The clear winner: Krista. She gets some clothes and baubles.
Next morning, Alasia once again is running late. The rest of the girls leave her behind, and the penthouse elevator will not open for her. The girls wait for her, but indicate it won”t happen again. They meet Mr. Jay meets them at a studio for the next shoot. The girls will be divided into teams, and all of the girls will be wearing outfits made of hair.
Weaven Steven and Derek J, two hair weaving experts, are named team captains. They are known for making clothes entirely out of hair. Derek J chooses Jessica, Alexandra, Alasia. Krista, Angelea, Anslee and Raina are on Team Weaven Steven. The hair, as Angelea points out, stinks of glue.
Jessica tries to pose in the air but seems to fail. Angelea is up next. “It looks like you are trying to model a shag rug,” Mr. Jay announces. She takes direction well and recovers. Raina the Unstoppable seems to do OK as well.
Anslee struggles yet again; she just doesn”t seem to understand her own body. But Krista kills, bringing in mad praise from Mr. Jay. Alasia, not so much. She keeps doing the same shot over and over again. “She just looked lost,” Mr. Jay remarks.
Alexandra: Ouch! She looks like she”s stumbling drunk. “She looked like a fish out of water,” Mr. Jay says. Well, OK. Let’s split the difference. A stumbling drunk out of water.
Panel time! Port is the guest judge. All the judges start a schticky routine about not getting enough sleep. Then they all pretend to take naps. Cue a hot shepherd who leads in a flock of sheep. The point of all this: The girls are going to New Zealand after panel. I had no idea there was a fashion scene in New Zealand. At any rate, there is one now. The girl who gets called first tonight gets to fly there first class.
Jessica is up first. Looks like she managed to pull out one decent shot in the air. The judges are split on her photo. Challenge winner Krista looks even longer and leaner than usual, and her face is terrific. “Your film was a joy to go through,” Tyra raves.
Anslee”s shot has a strong face, but she”s stiff everywhere else. “You don”t take enough risks,” Tyra observes. Alasia did indeed offer the same shot over and over, but at least it was a shot that impresses Andre Leon Talley. Alexandra”s photo is a disaster; her face is strong; the rest is bottle-o”-Jack ballet. Again, the judges are divided.
Here comes Angelea. Her hands are flying to her sides in her photo; it”s odd, but it works, at least, for the judges. Lastly: Raina. Once again, she delivers a high-fashion, killer shot, in the air, like Jessica”s. “No dreckitude,” the judges declare.
The callout: Krista, Angelea, Raina, Jessica, Alasia. The bottom two: Alexandra and Anslee. Anslee”s face is strong, but the judges worry that she might just be a beauty model. And judges sense a lack of drive in Alexandra. Alexandra gets to stay; Anslee gets sent home.
Krista gets to choose a buddy to fly first class, and chooses Angelea. Weepy Anslee gets to go home to her bayyyy-beee.
Next week: it”s go-sees, and photos with livestock.