Know what I think, when I think supermodels? I think Clay Aiken! And know what”s really cool? So does Tyra Banks! She made sure that Clay “Linda Evangelista” Aiken was front and center as a guest in tonight”s episode!
But before we get to that really obvious partnership, let”s recap within a recap. Allison has no range. There was some sort of Thanksgiving-looking dinner at one point. Natalie refused to clean. Everybody accuses everybody else of being a bitch. Next segment. Tyra Mail.
[Full recap of Wednesday (April 8) night’s “America’s Next Top Model” after the break…]
“Tomorrow you will molded into a fine piece of Clay,” it says.
You mean Clay AIKEN?! SO excited for this total synergy. I am just shocked it took so long for someone to put these two killer franchises together.
At some random stage, the girls pair up and get acting tips from judge-slash-ex-supermodel Paulina Poritzkova. Tahlia cannot break out of her shell and is called out by Paulina for not doing enough, well, calling out. Then everyone is given a small script — something about some ex-model something something — and told to memorize it, because they”re gonna be acting with it. Soon.
So now we get Clay Aiken, finally.
“I got the impression that she has a little bit of an attitude,” Aiken says of Natalie. Aiken also labels Tahlia”s style as “lazy.” But Celia surprises everyone by going way over the top and showing comedic flair. However, the prize — $5,000 worth of merch from Joe”s Jeans — goes to London. London has been gaining weight and fears she will not fit in the jeans. Could her weight problem send her home? I certainly hope not, not when Tahlia also clearly needs to shed some pounds — and, more importantly, inhibitions.
Next challenge: Oh, look. It”s McKey, the last cycle”s winner. I want more Clay. But whatever. McKey will walk the girls through their first Cover Girl commercial test. There”s a good chance that Natalie”s increasingly apparent arrogance will come through on camera; before the shoot even starts, California native Natalie manages to call her rivals “hicks.”
I see we”ve found a weakness in Teyona, who doesn”t know where to point her head when a camera is looking. Aminat is also disappointing; her big personality shrinks and disappears on camera.
But the really laughable contestant here is Allison. Oh, god. She is as flat as her giant eyes. Mr. Jay has no idea what to do with her. He can”t even edit around her. Ouch. So far we”re seeing a lot of camera time on Allison, which means two things: She will be in the bottom two and she will NOT be going home.
Next group in front of the camera includes Tahlia, Natalie, London and Fo. Her performance, in the words of Mr. Jay, is “average.” London is closer to “door to door salesman,” in the words of the client. In other words, overacting.
Oh, Tahlia, ouch. Ouch. Oh God. Ouch. There”s more? Ow. Owie ow. She. Blows. Every. Line.
“I know the competition is hard,” Mr. Jay declares, “but this is nothing compared to really being out there.”
Panel time! Who of the eight goes home? Clay is on the panel, so he will help choose.
Celia is up first, and it”s clear she has a natural talent, ranging from comedic to natural. Teyona is up next. Her eyes disappear when she poses too hard. Interesting.
Allison comes under heavy hire — for wearing the same dress twice! Ouch! Reer.
“Wearing the same thing again it”s like Groundhogs Day,” Tyra says. Really? Fine! Then YOU buy her a new dress, Tyra! At any rate, she seems to be improving … just a bit.
Aminat looks super-hard in her shoot, like she”s worried or angry. Teyona upstages Aminat during Aminat”s prime shoot.
London”s approach does not translate with the judges — at least, not in her main footage. She manages to upstage Natalie in HER shoot. Confused? So am I. Here”s even more confusing info: Tahlia looks great — in FO”s shoot. And Fo looks awesome in Tahlia”s footage. My head spins.
So who goes home?
Deliberation is murky. Celia has done best in the commercial; Teyona continues to impress Nigel, despite a squinty camera appearance. Allison”s lack of personality comes to the fore during her deliberation. All the judges hate Fo”s main commercial; London”s fatness dominates talk about her. Aminat — meh. Feh. Am I even here right now?
As for Natalie, Nigel says, “she looked like a Bond girl doing a Cover Girl commercial, neither shaken nor stirred.”
Wish I knew what that meant.
Celia is called first. No shock there. But with so many other weak performances this week, it”s tough to see who is going home.
Turns out the bottom two are Allison and Tahlia. Guess who”s going home! Oh, come on, when there”s a burn victim in the pair? Allison, right? Wrong! Hooray! Tahlia, finally, is sent packing. Burn victim or not, she simply lacks talent.
And she seems more focused on being some unknown person”s role model anyway. I don”t want that in my supermodel.