9:01 p.m. Wait. Did Ryan Seacrest just sign up for FourSquare one minute before the start of a Wednesday (May 5) “American Idol” results show? That’s what his Twitter account seems to be indicating. [Note: I follow Seacrest on Twitter because every once in a while he tells me important things like when he saved the season by heroically rescuing Crystal Bowersox from her insecurities. He, however, does not follow me. You suck, Seacrest! No, I kid. A little. Maybe.]
9:02 p.m. Yes, Feliz Cinco de Mayo to you as well, Ryan.
9:02 p.m. Ryan says that 32 million votes were cast last night. That number isn’t going up, Ryan. You may wanna stop mentioning it. It only exposes the show’s overall decline, since it isn’t hard to go back and check out voting totals from past seasons.
[Full recap of Wednesday’s “American Idol” results after the break…]
9:04 p.m. The Group Lip-Synch is a Frank Sinatra medley starting with “Lady Is a Tramp,” which leads to everybody calling Crystal a tramp. How odd. Especially since my favorite version of the song is Ella Fitzgerald’s take. But that’s just me. More appropriate is 17-year-old Aaron Kelly getting the first verse of “When I Was 17.”
9:05 p.m. This is mediocre. Let’s see what’s happening in the Bruins-Flyers game. I seem to have missed a third Bruins goal. Woot!
9:06 p.m. Four guys and one gal produces an awful vocal mix.
9:09 p.m. Oh God. Jamie Foxx is back next week to poorly mentor the Top Four in Songs from the Movies. Any chance they’re able to double up? Or will we fit four performances into an hour and still go over? Really, Foxx was horrible last time he mentored. There have been rumors that he’s been approached to judge next year. I don’t believe that for a second. He made “Stealth,” but he still thinks he’s better than this.
9:10 p.m. Ford time. It’s set to “1,2,3,4” and it’s pathetically drowsy. It’s a bit funny, though, to see flirtatious Crystal.
9:11 p.m. Clip package! Back in the day, the “Idol” finalists used to have boring and predictable Tuesdays. They used to involve work and homework and sleeping. Now? Everybody goes to the studio and rehearses and sings. They get breakfast! Large Michael Lynche and Lee Dewyze love breakfast burritos! Ryan rehearses! There are funny stand-in judges!
9:13 p.m. I would like to watch an extended clip package only focusing on the stand-in judges. Perhaps next Tuesday if they only do one performance apiece in an hour?
9:15 p.m. Crystal feels like one of the guys. And she’s definitely pulling off her jaunty hat.
9:15 p.m. Casey James knows he stunk last night, but his fate is in America’s hand.
9:16 p.m. Results? Lee’s up first. The judges liked him. Simon tells Lee that Tuesday was the first time he thought Lee started to believe in himself. America also believes in Lee. He’s safe.
9:21 p.m. The deodorant commercial featuring the dude with canaries flapping helplessly in his armpits just doesn’t work. I pity the canaries, not the dude.
9:23 p.m. Here’s Lady Geegaw performing “Alejandro,” allowing me to link to this version of the song performed by Jesse Tyler Ferguson of “Modern Family.”
9:25 p.m. Say what you will about Lady Gaga. She’s not boring. There’s enough weirdness on the “Idol” stage to warp a generation of tweens in intriguing ways. And nothing says “Cinco de Mayo” like a weird white chick singing a Spanish-inflected song about a dude named Alexander.
9:32 p.m. Kara is quite giddy tonight.
9:32 p.m. Last week? Four performances and it felt like there was very little filler. Tonight? With only two performances? It’s another clip package! Oh, that Harry Connick Jr. He’s a card. There are funny moments in the clips of Harry’s mentoring.
9:34 p.m. And now Harry’s performing “And I Love Her.” Alas, he’s not performing it in the guise of his character from “Copycat.”
9:38 p.m. Harry takes over the show. He wants Ryan’s job, not Simon’s job. Unfortunately, he’s taking over to introduce a second Group Sing. Ugh.
9:40 p.m. The Bruins won. Now I’ve gotta turn to the Sox for distraction, though I’d prefer if Papelbon could make this an easy 9th inning.
9:42 p.m. Harry Connick Jr. just made a joke about *not* hitting Jill Goodacre. I’m more relieved than amused.
9:46 p.m. A speedy 9th for the Sox. Thanks, Paps. Unfortunately, that means I have to pay full attention for these last 13 minutes. I wonder why they wanted to give Lee, but nobody else, such a relaxed episode.
9:48 p.m. Back to business. Poor Lee, still alone, mouthes “Thank you” to the audience.
9:49 p.m. Crystal is on the spot next. Randy sends Crystal to start a group by the piano. Large Michael is asked to start his own group to the left of the stage. Are we doing a Modified Huff? We appear to be. Aaron is sent to join Large Michael, while Casey stands with Crystal.
9:51 p.m. Ryan asks Lee, if he had to choose the safe group, would he? Lee says “No,” ending all possibility of a Huff.
9:51 p.m. Large Michael and Aaron are the Bottom Two. Huh. I really had Casey going home and Crystal having her Come to Simon reality check moment.
9:55 p.m. It *should* be Aaron going home…
9:56 p.m. And it is. Farewell to Aaron Kelly, who had a fine “Idol” run and gets a Big Hug from Big Mike for his troubles.
9:57 p.m. Not much to say about that. I thought Casey was worse than Aaron last night, but I also think Casey has displayed greater upside this season.
9:58 p.m. Aaron repeats last night’s “Fly Me To the Moon” and he’s just fine.
10:00 p.m. When it can’t screw up your “Glee” DVRing, “Idol” is capable of finishing on time.
You OK with Wednesday’s “Idol” results? And are you in favor of giving Harry Connick Jr. a permanent capacity on “Idol”?