Recap: ‘American Idol’ Results – Viewers target three guys for jeopardy

03.26.09 9 years ago 2 Comments

Chris Cuffaro/FOX

8:00 p.m. ET Smokey Robinson has never seen an “American Idol” competition this tight and if there’s anything Smokey Robinson knows, it’s reality television handicapping. If you’re curious, he likes Coach on “Survivor: Tocantins” and he’s picking Fo on “America’s Next Top Model.” He’s still undecided on “Make Me a Supermodel,” but he’s amused by that Mennonite girl.

8:02 p.m. There were 36 million votes cast last night. Unfortunately, none of them will be able to save Alexis Grace. You can never undo what you’ve done, America. So learn to love Scott MacIntyre. He’s your fault. 

[How did America vote? Full recap after the break…]

8:03 p.m. Simon suggests that he and Paula got a room after last night’s crayon flirtation antics from that night. Simon also wants to make clear that he didn’t blow off the President.

8:04 p.m. Thanks Ryan, for the reminder about the Judges’ Save. Now if somebody would only explain to the judges how it can be best used statistically.

8:06 p.m. The recap of Wednesday’s show? What better time to check in on Pittsburgh and Xavier. DeJuan Blair is a beast. He’s great to watch. 

8:07 p.m. Time for tonight’s Officially Sanctioned Lip-Synched “American Idol” Group Sing? Now that they don’t have to pretend anymore that the singers are actually emoting live, it’s like they don’t have to even try anymore. Does Megan Joy even know what she looks like when she sings? Because it’s different from how she looks when she lip synchs. Lil Rounds as well. 

8:08 p.m. This is hilarious. They’re not even attempting to look like they’re singing. They’re ignoring the microphones, they’re missing lyrics and they sound great. How do we feel about this trade-off, readers? Would we rather have the awful Group Sings from the past, where it seemed like live crooning was occurring, or would we rather have something canned, but pretty?

8:14 p.m. The Ford commercial tonight is sent to “Pocketful of Sunshine.” Suddenly the lip-synching in the Ford commercial is less appealing, since it’s the second lip-synched song in a row.

8:15 p.m. The Velvet Teddybear has been eating right since his last “American Idol” appearance, where I had to take time out to be concerned for each one of his ventricles individually. He doesn’t exactly look slender. This isn’t like the way Heavy D entirely ceased to be Heavy. But he doesn’t look like he’s about to die.  I’ve always liked Mr. Studdard, even if I probably wouldn’t ever find myself buying one of his albums.

8:18 p.m. Even healthier, Ruben still works up a heck of a sweat on the stage.

8:19 p.m. Can we hear more about the “Idol” trip to Detroit? Because who wouldn’t want to spend March in Detroit? 

8:20 p.m. Bottom Three time! Adam Lambert stands up first. I’m going to go out on a limb to suggest that he’s OK. I’m like Kreskin! Adam’s safe. Matt Giraud? Again… gonna go out on a limb and say he’ll still be around. 

8:21 p.m. Whoa. There went my prognosticating bona fides down the tubes. Matt is the first person in the Bottom Three. Simon has a concerned look. But Kris Allen is safe. Lil and Michael Sarver stand up together. Ryan jerks Lil around a little, but then tells her she’s safe and sends Michael to his well-earned place in the Bottom Three.

8:27 p.m. Give it up for Joss Stone and Smokey Robinson. Ah, Joss Stone. She’s playing Henry VIII’s ugly wife on “The Tudors” this season. Oh, that makes me giggle. 

8:28 p.m. They paired Smokey with Joss for demographic reasons, but also because his voice is just about shot. Joss makes for a very worthy distraction.

8:35 p.m. Matt and Michael are set in the Bottom Three. Who will join them on the Stools of Infinite Shame? Allison Iraheta stands. She was in the Bottom Three last week, but Ryan quickly assures her she’s safe. Then he skips over Megan to go to Anoop, which can’t be good for Megan, since Anoop’s through to the Top 9. Danny “The Redeemer” Gokey? Of course he’s safe, silly.

8:37 p.m. It’s down to Scott and Megan. On talent, they should both be in the Bottom Three this week. Megan looks like she expects the dishonor until Ryan says that Scott is in the Bottom Three. Interesting.

8:38 p.m. Without hesitation, Randy says that Matt doesn’t deserve to be there. He blames the performance order. Ryan says he’s going to send somebody back to the group. Got to be Matt, right?

8:39 p.m. Wrong. Scott goes back to the group. Michael’s all smiles. Matt has a look that says, “Yo, what up, America? I was all ‘Let’s Get It On’ and you were all ‘I have a headache’?”

8:44 p.m. Ryan asks Simon what he’s thinking regarding the Judges’ Save. Simon says that they’re because the public doesn’t like them and that they’ll make the decision based on that final performance.

8:45 p.m. Little Stevie Wonderful! It’s awesome seeing a blind dude rock the “American Idol” stage. I’m disappointed by the lack of cut-aways to Scott realizing what he’s been doing wrong. Why show restraint *now* “Idol” directors?

8:51 p.m. “It’s all about positivity,” Stevie Wonder instructs us all. He also admits that he loves both Barack Obama and “American Idol.” No plug for Ford? Or “Monsters vs. Aliens”?

8:56 p.m. We’re running long, “Idol.” Hurry it up. 

8:56 p.m. The contestant with the lowest number of votes is Michael. Well, the judges already told Michael that they weren’t going to use the Judges’ Save on him, so he doesn’t have an iota of pressure. He’s not getting saved. 

8:58 p.m. Kara and Paula just dance around, while Simon and Randy make a big show of pretending to discuss Michael and his performance. Actual conversation: “Double-doubles with cheese after the show?” “Yes. Animal-style, please.”

8:59 p.m. It’s another of those funny song choices, as Michael indeed ain’t too proud to beg. It wouldn’t go any good. Simon tells Ryan that they haven’t decided. He gives Paula the opportunity to make the decision. She can’t, so Simon says Michael’s done. This little scare will probably be good for Matt. 

9:00 p.m. Michael should have gone home last week. We should have had the chance to see Alexis do a Motown song. That’s how the “American Idol” cookie crumbles. Now, with Xavier beating Pitt, I have to go watch how my NCAA Tournament bracket crumbles.

Did the right person go home? Will Matt Giraud’s fans storm the phone lines next week?

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