9:00 p.m. ET Another faux Grindhouse introduction for Wednesday (April 15) night’s “American Idol” in honor of Tuesday’s guest mentor Quentin Tarantino, complete with degraded images and projector failure. Unlike last night, though, Ryan Seacrest gets to deliver “This is ‘American Idol.'” Perhaps Tarantino realized he has a movie he’s supposed to be editing before Cannes?
9:02 p.m. Our votes are in, but Ryan doesn’t tell us the results, which means that no records were broken after Tuesday’s Songs of the Cinema performances.
9:03 We only have two more weeks for the Judges’ Save to come into play. My hunch? Only Adam, Danny and Allison would get saved this week, but next week or the week after, the judges may use the save just to add drama the following week. After all of the hype of its introduction, do you think the producers are really going to let the Judges’ Save become vestigial?
9:04 p.m. The Ford commercial is set to “Freeze Frame” and features all of the Top Seven getting exposure on the cover of fake magazines. Matt Giraud ogles the covers, buys a handful and drives off giving them a dirty look as if he’s just purchased the fresh issues of Hustler, Swank and Naughty Girls of American Idol.
9:05 p.m. With Simon watching in horror, the Top Seven pour down from the stage to the judges’ podium lip-synching to “[She’s a] Maniac.” Nobody’s bothered to tell the director where the singers will be appearing from, prompting confusing and nauseating zooms and pans. Hands up if you’d rather have just watched Adam Lambert do the song alone…
9:11 p.m. Guess what? Last night the Top Seven got to go to the premiere of a new movie. A poorly coached Allison Iraheta isn’t able to tell us what movie they saw. It turns out that it was “17 Again,” starring Allison’s personal crush Zac Efron. They walk the red carpet and meet the stars, who are all more-than-eager to tell the cameras how unique and hilarious the movie is. Unique, that is, if you never saw “Vice Versa,” “Like Father, Like Son,” “Dream a Little Dream,” “Freaky Friday” or “18 Again.”
9:15 p.m. After the movies, the “Idol” singers get to give their reviews. Anoop Desai loved it. Adam loved the cheerleaders. Wait. Really? “They were funny,” he clarifies. Oh. That makes much more sense. Lil Rounds says that she wouldn’t want to go back. Wait. She wouldn’t want to go back to see “17 Again” again? That’s not a good plug, Lil. Oh. Nevermind. She wouldn’t want to go back in time to when she was 17. Because that four-year journey back in time would be so darned disorienting.
9:16 p.m. Efron hasn’t washed his hair, but he made it to the crowd anyway. He urges America to go see his movie.
9:17 p.m. On to the Bottom Three. Allison is up first and she’s safe. Cheerleader-Loving Adam listens to the warm words from the judges and gets Simon to admit that his Rocky Horror Show joke from last night wasn’t meant as an insult. Quote Whore Anoop says he’s feeling more comfortable on stage before Ryan sends him to the Bottom Three again. Anoop is rapidly becoming this season’s Kristy Lee Cook.
9:23 p.m. Jennifer Hudson is described as “the only ‘Idol’ Finalist to *win* an Oscar.” Ryan emphasizes “win” as if Kevin Covais had been nominated for “College” and Katharine McPhee had picked up a Golden Globe win for “House Bunny,” but been snubbed on Oscar night. Since it was widely reported that Hudson shot her “Idol” appearance several weeks back, some of the spontaneity of this moment is missing.
9:29 p.m. Ryan and Jennifer go through the usual boring banter. Ryan asks softball questions and misuses “begs the question.” I tune him out.
9:31 p.m. The commercial from “17 Again” uses a number of quotes from critics of ill-repute, but it doesn’t include Anoop’s blurb. Opportunity missed.
9:33 p.m. Teaser for FOX’s “Glee” mocks me for missing a set visit tonight to recap “Idol.”
9:34 p.m. Anoop, on the Stool of Shame, admits to frustration at this latest Bottom Three appearance. Paula says she’s also a little surprised, what with his magical voice. Simon disagrees tersely.
9:35 p.m. Anoop looks lonely. Who will join him? Will it be Kris Allen, who had the nerve to sing a song from a tiny indie masterpiece? Or will it be Lil, who had the nerve to tell Simon off? Simon, who didn’t get to comment on Kris’ performance last night, tells him that he was brilliant. Kris is safe. This is the second straight week that Kris has been at the bottom on DialIdol and yet hasn’t made the Bottom Three. What an odd phenomenon.
9:37 p.m. That leaves Danny Gokey and Matt for the last Bottom Three spot. Who are we kidding here? Even Matt admits that in retrospect, he wouldn’t have over-sung. This week? Last week? Every week? After a wee bit of teasing, Ryan tells Danny that he is… safe.
9:39 p.m. Anoop, Lil and Matt are your Bottom Three. Put on the spot, Kara says it’s the correct Bottom Three. I applaud that honesty. Paula refuses to do the same. She just says that at this stage in the competition, it’s tough every week.
9:40 p.m. Who will be sent back to safety first? It’s Anoop.
9:45 p.m. Miley Cyrus scares me like Michael Flatley used to scare Chandler Bing. Wait. The same Chandler Bing who was played by the co-star of the new movie “17 Again”? Why yes! See, Allison? That’s how you bridge into a plug.
9:47 p.m. Miley has a terminal case of bedhead.
9:49 p.m. Simon says he would consider saving one of the Bottom Two. He adds that it might be a surprise to that person. Ryan, ever the clever one, whips out his Enigma device and cracks Simon’s code, asking if he’s referring to Lil.
9:54 p.m. It is the moment of truth, or so Ryan tells me. Over 36 million votes were cast last night (meaning that voting has been flat for weeks now) and Lil will continue on. That leaves Matt at the bottom and forced to sing for his life.
9:55 p.m. The judges discuss their dinner reservations as Matt moans and groans through his Bryan Adams cover. The conferring ends in a hurry, leaving Kara and Paula to link arms and sing along.
9:57 p.m. The audience chants enthusiastically for the judges to use the save. The judges make a pyramid. Simon tells Matt that he doesn’t have any chance of winning the competition… But then he says, “Matt… It’s good news.”
9:58 p.m. If you ask me, this is a ridiculous move on the part of the judges. Simon was right about Matt’s chances of winning. I almost home Danny gets voted out next week and they blew the chance to save him.
9:59 p.m. Two people are going home next week. That’s one piece of bad news. The second piece of bad news? Next week? Disco Night.
10:00 p.m. Gonna go out on a limb and say that Adam is going to blow the roof off the joint next week.
Would you have saved Matt?
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