Recap: ‘Big Brother 11’ Tuesday – PoV drama falls short

08.05.09 8 years ago

Sonja Flemming/CBS

I’m still basking in the glow of Ronnie’s head being on the chopping block, so you may need to give me a moment here. Ahhhh…. Okay, back to the game.

Lydia and Ronnie are, of course, on the block (I can’t say that enough, really), and Ronnie says he has plenty of tricks up his sleeve, so he’s not all that worried. Which again makes me wonder why Ronnie was ever in the Brains clique (really, nearsightedness and pastiness do not a smartypants make). He’s also not sweating the POV competition, since he assumes Jessie, in his big guns manliness will win even if brainiac Ronnie doesn’t. And this isn’t a totally ridiculous theory, since Jessie does seem to have a certain eerily useful skill set when it comes to stupid competitions, but I’m so hoping he’s wrong.

[Full recap of Tuesday (Aug. 4) night’s “Big Brother” after the break…]

A few lucky housemates are outfitted in togas and fake Latin names (so glad I took three years of Latin so I could figure those out) for the POV competition, and for some reason this all makes sense because they’re… oh, they’re not having chariot races or fighting tigers or having a wine-induced puke-off in a real live vomitorium or anything logically Roman like that, they’re guessing how many grapes are in a bunch and how many feathers are on a cap. Because that’s an ancient skill. Who comes up with this stuff?

Anyway, the game isn’t just guessing how many studs are on a belt, it’s also about choosing to get your poker on and either fold (in which case your vote doesn’t count and you won’t get points, but you won’t get eliminated) or stay (in which you could get a point, unless you’re the furthest away from the actual number and you get your ass kicked to the curb). Kevin, who seems to have less than zero interest in winning anything, is the first to blow it, which seems to give Lydia a heaving case of the can’t win ’ems, and she also makes a speedy exit. Then, it’s down to Michele, Ronnie, Russell and Jessie.

Jessie, having those weird aforementioned Rain Man-esque Big Brother skills, takes an early lead, and I start thinking, crap, Ronnie’s ass is coming right off the block just when I was really starting to enjoy watching him flip-flop between sheer panic and bizarro overconfidence. But then Russell proves that he’s not such a bad feather-guesser and he moves into the lead. Which is fine, since we all know Mr. HOH ain’t busting out the POV to overturn his own nominations. Then, a surprise – Michele fakes out her housemates with a lowball score, then nails her next guesses and swoops in to take the POV for the second week in a row. At which point you can actually see Jessie crap himself. Okay, not really, but close enough.

Michele gets a little bit of a strut on (go nerd power!) and, of course, Ronnie makes it clear he’s ready to beg, grovel and otherwise humiliate himself to stay in the house. But apparently Michele isn’t into submissive tubby geekboys, because she can barely hide her contempt when Ronnie swears to her he hasn’t lied to her “since all of this began,” which is apparently 10 minutes ago. Not that Ronnie completely registers that Michele thinks he’s only slightly better than something she’d scrape off her shoe, because he honestly doesn’t think he’s out for the count yet. Oh, Ronnie.  Time to pack those Sans-A-Belt big boy khakis.

Anyway, Michele (as I said, getting her strut on), tells Russell it’s time for a chat. Which sends Jessie and Nathalie into a crazypants paranoia tailspin, during which they have to barge in and offer to play chess, then pace around outside the HOH room and talk about how Michele is “shady,” because apparently in their upside-down universe the geek who hasn’t lied to them is a dirtbag while Ronnie, who is only one step removed from a serial killer in the ethics department, is a righteous and just man. Nathalie wants to bust into the HOH room and, I’m guessing, pull Michele’s hair out by the roots, but Jessie’s against it, as he’s pretty sure the Russell-Michele plotting has already taken place and there’s nothing they can do about it.

And I have to hand it to Jessie, because he’s right. Russell and Michele have determined that, unlike everyone else, they don’t really have close friends in the house, and it’s time to form a team. And then they bond over a shared distaste for ol’ Jell-O butt, which is a heartwarming moment for me, at least.

Nathalie, seeing her evil dominion starting to fray, pushes Ronnie to offer Michele “anything she wants” to stay in the house, so Ronnie decides it’s time to come on tougher. Which I was suspecting would mean he’d give her full-on noogies, but no. Ronnie appeals to Michele’s higher self and tells her that if she doesn’t save him, she won’t make it to the final two, as Lydia and Kevin are loyal only to each other and he can offer her the allegiance of Jessie, Nathalie, Chima and himself. Amazingly, Michele seems to absorb this, and I’m thinking, dammit, Teflon Ron’s at it again!

Of course, this isn’t enough drama (I admit, if I didn’t have a book or the radio or TiVo or something, I’d probably be looking to beat heads and pick fights, too), we have to get Russell stirred up about something. Ronnie and Chima have a play date, during which they both bitch about Russell and Russell just happens to, oh, press his ear up against the door for a while, then poke his head in to let the little snarks know he’s on to them.

This, of course, sends Jessie and Nathalie into a controlled but entirely freaked-out tailspin, and they have to bust into the room to urge Chima to save herself and stop talking to Ronnie before he gets his icky soon-to-be-ousted stink all over her. Chima being Chima, she just pouts and stays put, but it doesn’t matter, since Russell reveals the little bit he did hear was enough to give him grave doubts about her anyway.

But, Chima being Chima, she’s not inclined to stop the damage there. Later, she starts taunting Russell about his “girlfriend” Michele, which so pisses off Russell he tells Jeff he’s half thinking of backdooring her, just to get rid of the jealous girlfriend he never wanted. And as much as I want Ronnie to go, I’ve got to say, Chima is an excellent second choice.

So, it’s looking like Ronnie is dead meat, but there’s still time to vote for the Coup D’Etat, which makes me nervous, because viewers could always go for an entirely annoying William Hung kind of thing and Ronnie will slither his way to the final two. I mean,  not likely, because I think Russell will sit on him until he can’t breathe before that happens, but still. It could happen.

So, the POV comes and is completely anti-climactic in that Michele proves she isn’t totally stupid and chooses not to lose it, letting Ronnie stew in his own juices. Russell is tickled pink and decides Michele is someone he can trust, and I think a whole new team of non-sucky people is emerging, which is really quite exciting.

Who are you hoping gets the Coup D’Etat? Do you think Ronnie will go home or dodge the bullet? What do you think Jessie’s next move will be?N

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