Well, Jordan and Michele are on the block, all part of Jessie’s master plan to backdoor… someone. Sure, it’s supposed to be Ronnie, but c’mon, when has this game ever gone the way you want it to?
[Full recap of Tuesday night’s “Big Brother” after the break…]
Jordan, not surprisingly, is a wee bit tired of the whole pawn thing, and, as she doesn’t entirely trust Jessie, she’s just squeezing her eyes shut and waiting for the big ol’ knife in her back. It’s a little hard to watch this big-eyed, small-town girl evolving from an “I love everyone” sweetheart to an increasingly suspicious and jaded player, but hey, happens every day in Hollywood.
Jessie, not surprisingly, admits to the camera that he’s still got a little man crush on Ronnie, as he sees him as an asset and/or punching bag, which is really all a man like him could want (sorry, Nathalie and Lydia).
Jeff tries to reassure Jordan that she’s not going home, since Michelle is nowhere near as cute and all the dumbasses in the house are kind of threatened by someone who’s, like, smart. Okay, he didn’t say that, but you know he was thinking it.
Michele, not surprisingly, says she’s having really complex trust issues, which she should. Ronnie tries to kiss her butt by telling her he should be on the block instead of her, and even goes so far as to tell her he would use the POV to save her instead of himself, which is the point at which Michele can no longer contain her complete disgust with the guy and calls B.S. and tells him she certainly is not doing the same. For someone who played the game pretty artfully up until now, desperation is turning Ronnie into a flagrant kiss-ass, which isn’t fooling anyone and kind of makes me want to throw up a little.
Next, Ronnie waddles into the HOH room, where Jessie and Nathalie are cuddled up like some old married couple. Jessie tells Ronnie that Casey, Jordan and Jeff are gunning for him but tentatively pledges his loyalty, which inspires Ronnie to babble about how Jessie is his brother by another mother and Nathalie is his sister by another mister, which is unspeakably lame, but hey, it’s Ronnie, what can you expect?
Jessie then sets out to get Chima on the Ronnie love bandwagon and reveals his true plan to backdoor Casey. Chima, being loyal only to her Louis Vuitton knock-off handbag, is happy to pledge her allegiance. Kevin quickly follows, as does Lydia, and Jessie gloats that he’s picking people off like… something that picks people off, and then he thinks about making out with his muscles. Okay, making that up, but you know he does that when cameras aren’t around.
Then, it’s time for some fun. A game of Truth or Dare gets a little dangerous when Kevin is challenged to cuddle with a sleeping Jessie for 10 seconds, which seems to make Jessie sincerely mad, even half asleep. Then, it’s Ronnie’s turn to hug Casey for 20 seconds, which Casey tolerates with admirable aplomb, though the incident does make him realize that, oh yeah, Ronnie has more friends in the house than he thought.
Finally, it’s time to pick players for the veto competition. Michele, Casey, Jordan and Jeff are in the game, and fat Ronnie is left sitting, sulking on the couch. Casey and Jordan are practically bouncing up and down with joy, as the plan to bounce his butt could actually get some traction.
Jessie and Nathalie get under the covers to conspire like very fit bedbugs, and they’re in no mood to cuddle knowing that Casey may, in fact, save himself in the veto competition. And this looks like a particularly unpleasant competition, given that the players have to dress up in pig costumes and walk outside to find a mud pit, but Jordan gets all excited about that, because she really wants to wrestle in the mud (for once, I’m not making that one up).
But no wrestling is required, as they’re hunting for truffles. So, Jordan will get to play in the mud, but by herself. Michele informs us that the mud smelled like poop, and Jordan says even if it was, it was okay by her, which I don’t fully understand. Chima, being Chima, tells us her goal is to keep herself clean, which makes her survival in the house for this long yet again thoroughly stunning to me.
As much fun as you think it would be to watch a bunch of grown-ass people rooting around in the mud, the contest is surprisingly boring. Finally, it’s time to add up the scores, and there’s a whole envelope-drawing complication, which just seems a little dumb and we’ll just skip over it and get to the results.
Jessie gets an impressive total score of 31 points plus $2,500 cash money. Jordan scores just 24 and is out despite her kinda freaky love of mud. Jeff gets 22 points and joins Jordan in the loser category. Chima makes 25 points and yes, gets cut. Casey gets a crap number of points but also a margarita party, which he’s so happy about because he wants to give back to the house, plus he has to wear a banana suit for a week, so maybe he won’t mind going home after all. So, Jessie’s evil plan to kick Casey to the curb is in full effect… until Michele comes from behind and takes it. Go, Brain!
Casey dons his banana suit, which isn’t really so bad, since it’s only a half banana suit and it is pretty funny when you see a big, yellow banana dragging on a cigarette, as Jeff points out.
Jessie sits down to powwow with Michele, and stupidly admits there was one player in the veto competition he didn’t want to win, and Michele realizes Casey is in the crosshairs. Pretty soon word trickles down to Jordan, then Jeff, and finally Casey, who starts to look like a very angry smoking banana. Casey, being a take charge kinda guy, decides to go confront Jessie. And, despite the fact he’s being confronted by a banana, Jessie looks a little nervous.
Jessie can’t even lie to Casey, saying only that “the right guy” will be going home. Amazingly, the smoking banana doesn’t reach out and strangle Jessie but instead makes the very valid point that he’d never planned to go after Jessie – but Ronnie, well, Ronnie would sell his own mother for a double cheeseburger, so maybe Jessie wants to think about his alliances.
It’s veto time, and no one looks particularly happy about it except Michele, because she gets to get her ass off the block. Jessie, wearing a ridiculous pair of glasses and equally goofy straw cowboy hat, puts Casey on the block. Ronnie smirks like a particularly happy rat and talks about the force being with him, which makes me want to kill him a little. Jordan admits she isn’t the smartest crayon in the box, but she’s putting on her game face, and Casey admits he’s going to bust out his angry fighting banana attitude, which should actually be really fun to watch, because he is, after all, wearing a banana suit.
Do you think Jordan or Casey will go? Do you think Jessie now has a target on his back? And how likely do you think Ronnie will survive another week?