Welcome, East Coasters, to a special late night edition of “Big Brother,” delayed nearly three hours by the conclusion of the PGA Championship.
Or, perhaps, Welcome East Coasters who missed tonight's “Big Brother' due to the lengthy delay and want to find out what happened.
This is why everybody should live in the Pacific time zone. Our CBS Sunday lineup always airs on-time. Earthquakes, mudslides and the occasional wildfire are a small price to pay.
But anyway… When we left things on Thursday, Jocasta had been sent home under normal circumstances and Hayden was the victim of the Week of “Big Brother” in 35-ish minutes. I miss The Rationale already.
Let's see how things shake out.
10:02 p.m. ET. Oh goodie. Another jam-packed episode, with a Head of Household, Nominations and Battle of the Block in one hour.
10:05 p.m. Nicole is at war with the hamsters as the episode begins. “You can't trust any of them,” Nicole wails to the vaguely sympathetic Donny. Her particular targets are Christine and Frankie, “Because everyone needs to know how untrustworthy they really are.” Zach is gloating in a Zach-esque fashion. Frankie is being aloof and claiming he never said he had Hayden and Nicole's backs, even as the editing shows otherwise. However, Nicole's accusations against Zach are finding some fertile ground. Meanwhile, Derrick is sitting and nodding quietly. Has anybody been properly noting what a spectacular game Derrick has played so far?
10:09 p.m. Caleb tells Frankie that he's also feeling some newfound suspicions. “I would rather not believe it, but I'm gonna believe partial, because in this game you have to,” he says. Frankie knows he needs to win this HoG.
10:10 p.m. Head of Household time. It's the Big Brother Tourn-Eye-Ment and it involves reading eye-charts, interpreting a series of questions and buzzing in and whatever. “My brain's no designed for splitting up words like that,” Donny laments after his early elimination. Our first Head of Household winner is Nicole, who has been surprisingly successful at challenges this season for somebody who seems vaguely discombobulated half the time. “Big Brother” doesn't understand how tournament brackets go, because Christine wins the second Head of Household, which leaves Christine and Nicole ready to go against each other in a Final that never happens. This looks like an awkward and unease HoH alliance. And because somebody once told Zach that the word “dingus” was funny, he calls himself a dingus for messing up. I get that being annoying is Zach's strategy, but I would pay CBS at least a dollar a week for episodes with either Zach or Zach saying “dingus” edited out.
10:19 p.m. Frankie and Christine parlay about their revised strategy. “This is cool. I'm glad to have won it with you,” Nicole says confusingly. Really? You hated her 10 minutes ago. For good reason. Frankie comes in to the HoH and confesses to his presence in an alliance that everybody should have assumed was there anyway. Frankie wants to torpedo the House's core Alpha Male alliance, which is the last thing Christine wants, since she thinks she can trust Zach and Derrick and Caleb and whatnot to have her back. “I have no idea what to do with that boy,” Christine says. And now it's time for Zach to repair his relationship with Nicole. Does this feel like deja vu to anybody else? Zach pumps Nicole for information. Nicole squirms and refuses to say anything because she knows Zach will spill anything he learns. “That's what happens every single time,” she sighs. Zach spills somewhat on his alliance situation, but it's hard to believe anything his sweater says. And the conversation does, indeed, go from Zach to Caleb next, with Caleb then telling Cody and Derrick. Suddenly, everybody is pissed off at Frankie.
10:29 p.m. “You can't trust anybody in this House completely. Including me. Because you're playing a game,” Derrick has to explain to Nicole. His solution is to put a pawn and Frankie up on the block and then let the willing pawn throw the Battle of the Block to keep things in place for a Frankie elimination. And Nicole trusts Derrick. Caleb has decided to put himself on the Block against Frankie, both as the ultimate pawn and as his latest in a never-ending series of gambits to avenge Amber. Long after we all die, Caleb will still be fighting for Amber's honor, provided he does it at a distance of at least 500 yards.
10:32 p.m. Christine's nominees are Donny and Zach. Nicole's nominees are Caleb and Frankie. “Now that's a beautiful match-up,” Caleb says, as Frankie already sees the way things are going. Zach rants and raves, calling Frankie and Christine liars. “What the hell did I have anything to do with this?” a confused Frankie says. Christine's impressed by Nicole's balls.
10:39 p.m. “I'm not talking to them anymore. They're dead to me,” Zach says. He's conversing with Nicole and Caleb, but when Frankie enters, Zach departs. “I couldn't ask for a better partner than Caleb to be up on the block with me,” Frankie says, unaware that Depeche Mode Cowboy has turned on him. Unpleasant bathroom conversations ensue with Zach and Christine and Frankie, who tries making it clear to his former cuddle-buddy he's only around still because of him.
10:41 p.m. As you may have heard, CBS has Thursday Night Football this fall and we're now going to spend 10 minutes promoting Thursday Night Football and the NFL. The Battle of the Block competition involves using a bar, attached to two chains, to move a football between various wide receivers. The winning team will get to escape the House for an NFL experience, including a gourmet tailgating party. Will Depeche Mode Cowboy be able to stick with his plan to throw the competition? Caleb's not feeling up to acting and he won't even look Frankie in the eyes. Frankie, fortunately, isn't stupid. “Look at me. You're not throwing this,” Frankie tells him. “We both know this. Amber's gone because of you,” Caleb tells him. “You've ruined our trust. You've ruins my loyalty,” Caleb tells him. And then, as if to make his point, he tells Frankie to move the chains by himself and sits down. “This is what happens when you break trust and loyalty.” YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY?!? You see what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps?!?
10:50 p.m. We're back and Caleb is still pouting on the side. “He doesn't even deserve to play on the same playing field as Beastmode Cowboy,” Caleb says. Is anybody else kinda rooting for Frankie here? I mean, he's a weasel, but at least he's not a sanctimonious stalker-weasel. Zach and Donny get out to a lead, but it's not a big lead and soon Frankie has pulled into the lead. Seeing Frankie's solo success, Zach ditches Donny and decides to do it himself, which is simultaneously the stupidest strategy imaginable and also the most Zachian strategy imaginable. Of course, Zach and Donny are struggling with teamwork, while Frankie doesn't need to worry about a teammate. Caleb's absence is an attribute. Frankie is one ball from victory and… He does it! I'm not gonna lie. Frankie deserves this sobbing. “That was for you grandpa,” he says. He also says, “That was for you, Ariana!” Then, hugging Caleb, he apologizes. “He's still a snake and he's still a liar,” Caleb says, before giving kudos to Frankie. Do you reckon anybody's going to go back into the House and explain to Depeche Mode Cowboy that the ONLY reason Frankie just won that competition was because he didn't have to rely on teamwork and that literally the easiest way to have thrown that competition would have been to participate and screw up intentionally like a man, rather than grumbling on the sidelines like a baby? “Frankie, you're gonna get yours one day,” Zach grumbles.
10:58 p.m. Frankie has decided that he needs to mend some fences and the way he's going to mend those fences? By telling them the true identity of his sister. Two things: One: He JUST yelled his sister's name out on the field as part of his celebration. If nobody was paying attention, that's on them. Two: He's going to curry favor with the house by boasting about his famous sibling? Really? Is his point that they should love him because he's fame-adjacent? Or that they should be grateful that he decided to tell the truth after lying for six weeks? I don't get this at all.
Are you impressed with Frankie? Are you disgusted with Caleb? Are you embarrassed for Zach? And was Victoria just in bed sleeping all episode?