I’m not too proud to admit that Wednesday’s episode, with its bizarre Jesse-filled Pandora’s Box and its chump-showering, head-shaving, prize-winning Power of Veto was one of my favorite “Big Brother” episodes in recent memory.
How would “Big Brother” top that episode on Thursday? With a double-elimination, of course!
Click through for HitFix’s full minute-by-minute break-down of Thursday’s (Aug. 26) “Big Brother”…
8:00 p.m. ET It’s a special double-elimination episode and Julie Chen is celebrating with her shoulders completely covered for the show’s live portion. I don’t know what to make of this.
8:03 p.m. So we’re gonna eliminate either Matt or Enzo quickly. Then we’re going to have a speedy Head of Household challenge, two speedy nominations, a speedy Power of Veto ceremony and a speedy vote. Yikes!
8:04 p.m. But first, we flash back to Matt’s reaction to being placed on the block. He vows to pull another rabbit out of his hat. Enzo, difficult to take seriously, says that the Brigade is eliminating everybody they can’t trust, starting with Matty and followed by Brendon, Britney and Regan.
8:08 p.m. Minor technical difficulties on my end cause me to miss two minutes. I hope they weren’t formative minutes. I return to Regan’s concerns that the house guests might think he’s lobbying too…
8:09 p.m. Britney in a bikini!
8:09 p.m. OK. Anyway. So Regan’s apologizing to the Brigade if anybody feels likehe campaigned too hard for Matt. But Enzo and Hayden make a mistake. In reassuring Regan, they admit to splitting their votes last week and Regan realizes that the only reason anybody would say something like that is if they were in an alliance. FINALLY!
8:10 p.m. Regan tells Matt about his alliance fears and Matt denies all awareness. Matt sees a way he can use this to his advantage. Regan has become the only person in the house not controlled by the Brigade, so Hayden raises the possibility that they might need to keep Matt around just to control Regan.
8:12 p.m. In a room by himself, Regan is going over every single fact and figure regarding this season, figuring that his only chance to survive would be to win the next HoH. He’s correct.
8:13 p.m. Julie warns the hamsters that they’re going experience a week of “Big Brother” fun in a single night. None of them exactly understand what she’s saying and they don’t even appear especially shocked.
8:14 p.m. Enzo’s speech begins by wishing his wife a happy anniversary. He wants to unshun himself and he vows to throw some people under the bus and backstab. Everybody giggles as the talking penguin. “It is what it is, it’s gonna be what it’s gonna be,” he closes. Matt explains that their choice is between “a penguin and a gremlin.” Both apologize for whatever trash they talked in The DR. The Dominican Republic? What does that have to do with anything?
8:15 p.m. Oh right. The Diary Room.
8:15 p.m. Voting time. Brendon votes to evict Matt. Hayden votes to evict Matt. Regan makes a weepy face, but still votes to evict his former best friend. That’s it for Matt.
8:17 p.m. Matt knew this was coming and hugs the penguin graciously. “We’re gonna do some drinkin’ tonight,” Matt tells the hamsters, knowing that one will be joining him. Back in the house, Regan seems sad. Britney seems cute, but also dressed as if she were interviewing for a job as a receptionist at the law firm in CBS’ “The Defenders.”
8:18 p.m. Matt tells Julie that he had already reassured Regan that it was OK to vote for him. Regarding throwing last week’s HoH, Matt tells Julie that he “ba-ba-booied” it. He admits that he was hovering between the Brigade and his “little showmance” with Regan. In an odd moment, Matt says that he never could have allied with Britney because she’s “an evil succubus.” Julie warns him about his language. Did she mishear? Does she not know what a succubus is? Is the Chen-Bot trying and failing to make a joke? I’m so confused. Matt is also confused.
8:19 p.m. Wait. Julie Chen, the legitimate journalist, doesn’t know the word “succubus” and she doesn’t ask Matt about his decision to lie about his wife’s fictional deadly illness? Boo.
8:24 p.m. We’re off to the backyard for the Head of Household competition, titled “Delivering the Goods.” Wow. Britney kinda got screwed in this quick turnaround, didn’t she? The competition involves “Big Brother” memory and packing peanuts and it takes exactly two seconds.
8:24 p.m. Hayden wins by knowing that Matt and Rachel were the two hamsters to win HoH twice and then by retrieving their names from the packing peanuts. That was both dull and anti-climactic.
8:30 p.m. Everybody comes and lobbies Hayden as swiftly and efficiently as possible. It’s gotta be some mixture of Britney, Brendon and Regan, but who will he choose first and who will he try to backdoor?
8:31 p.m. The audio is horrible and Hayden’s breathing really hard, so I don’t have a clue what’s about to come.
8:32 p.m. Hayden nominates Bredon and Regan. “How dare you!” Regan jokingly declares. Hayden explains that he’d promised Britney and Lane last week that he wouldn’t put them up.
8:35 p.m. This Xfinity commercial with Zachary Levi confuses me when it isn’t aired on NBC. Too many things are confusing me tonight. And it isn’t even Friday. This can’t be good.
8:37 p.m. Power of Veto time! And the entire household gets to compete. The game is called “Before or After.” This competition out to be right in Regan’s wheelhouse, what with his obsessive recitation of “Big Brother” events earlier in the episode.
8:39 p.m. Enzo is eliminated first on a question that very nearly knocks Brendon off his perch. It’s a temporary respite and Brendon goes on next. Is that it for Brendon? He puts his head in his hands as if he thinks he’s done. Britney goes out next.
8:41 p.m. Indeed, as presaged, the winner is Regan. He’s going to take himself off and that probably dooms Britney, by my calculations, to a place on the block. In fact, I can see easy strategic reasons why the men would be better off voting her out rather than Brendon. Boo…
8:45 p.m. Britney is lobbying for support. She gets a comforting hug from the penguin. But can we trust the penguin? Meanwhile, why on Earth is Regan using this time, on live TV, to announce his intentions to change into jeans? How weird. He goes scurrying off.
8:46 p.m. Regan gets sent back to the PoV ceremony still in his shorts. Somebody told him he was doing something strange. Brendon makes a kinda funny speech attributing his PoV loss to his untied shoelaces. Brendon has done a good job of image rehab in the second half of Wednesday’s episode and tonight. Then I think back to the start of Wednesday’s episode with Brendon in his sleep mask having a conversation with The Rachel in His Mind.
8:47 p.m. Britney goes up on the block. And we go to commercial. After two minutes of programming.
8:50 p.m. Time for Britney and Brendon to make their last statements. Britney’s uses her time to tell her family that she loves them. She also tells the hamsters that she loves them as well, warning them that they’re friends forever and that she plans on Facebook stalking all of them. Brendon agrees that he loves this big dysfunctional family and promises to have “mad respect” for all of them.
8:51 p.m. Voting time. Enzo the Penguin is up first. He votes to evict Brendon. Yay! Surely Regan’s vote is also against Brendon, right? It is. And Britney survives. Thanks, “Big Brother.” Lane joins in and Brendon is heading home.
8:53 p.m. Brendon’s going off to see Rachel. Pity the other evicted hamsters stuck in the house with them for the next couple weeks.
8:54 p.m. Brendon admits that he wasn’t shocked that he wasn’t as much of a pawn as he’d been led to believe he was. He thinks he could have beaten Regan in a vote, but then he backs down from that claim. “It’s a really nice version of prison,” Brendon says of his “Big Brother” experience, adding “Brains go out the window as soon as you go in those doors.” Brendon admits that life was both easier and harder for him in the house with Rachel gone. His plan is to attempt to lure Rachel over to UCLA to keep the couple together. Well, I guess the saloons around UCLA need bartenders as well.
8:57 p.m. Back in the house, Regan is having a choking fit.
Farewell to Matt and Brendon. Did the hamsters vote the right way this week?