It’s going to be a busy Thursday (August 2) night on “Big Brother.”
First, we have to find out if the hamsters are going to vote to evict 21st Century William Katt Frank or Screaming Red Tomato Joe. [I sure hope it’s Joe going home.]
Then, we have to learn if America voted to have the four Coaches reenter the game as players.
Tonight could change everything!
Click through for the live-blog…
9:02 p.m. ET. It’s pretty pointless if the Coaches just stick around as Coaches, isn’t it? Honestly? Like even if America wanted that, the producers are sure to want it the other way, right?
9:03 p.m. Julie Chen, shoulders bare, speaks to the turbulent 27 days in the House. Then she reminds us of exactly what the pre-episode recap reminded us of TWO MINUTES AGO.
9:04 p.m. Stop being smug, Julie! We know that you know what America decided. And we know that you aren’t going to tell us. Geez. Oooh. The Coaches will be “offered the chance,” if America voted for them to enter the game. So they could theoretically be voted back in and decide they’d rather not put their necks on the line. Will that be an individual choice or a collective choice?
9:05 p.m. We flash back to Day 24, with Mike Boogie and Frank discovering Britney and Shane’s betrayal. “I did it! Yay!” says Ashley, as if she did anything at all to get off the block. Frank thinks that Danielle will be the swing vote. And Danielle thinks that Shane’s move was the best move to date and it sounds like she’s going to do what Shane wants. “I’m feeling a little bit better and I’m gonna go to work,” Red-Faced Joe yells.
9:06 p.m. Frank tells Mike Boogie that Shane has assured him that he’s safe. “If one of my players knows there’s going to be a big shakeup in the game… YOU MAY WANNA TELL ME,” Mike Boogie bellows in the Diary Room. Mike Boogie sounds like a man who’d love to stop coaching and start playing. Britney is able to throw Ian under the bus for his “finicky word-choices,” which somehow seems reasonable to Boogie and Frank. “I love Ian and I don’t want him to be in trouble,” Britney coos, disingenuously.
9:08 p.m. Janelle’s squad is impressed with Shane’s balls. Ashley compares it to both spirituality and exercise and yoga and stuff. Nobody knows what she’s talking about. In the Have-Nots room, Ian is freaking out. “He’s probably my strongest ally in this game,” Ian laments, pacing like a lunatic. With Mike Boogie and Frank, Ian tries to reconstruct his conversation with Britney. Ian eventually admits that he didn’t want to write checks he couldn’t cash, but Mike Boogie stares him down and declares, “This is the Big Brother House. You CAN bounce checks.” Heh.
9:11 p.m. Janelle and Britney are talking about cramps and the pain of labor. Why is this happening? Janelle says that she doesn’t cry, even at funerals. “Janelle just doesn’t seem to have a whole lot of emotions,” Britney carps. It turns out that Janelle also doesn’t get too happy. Britney admires this robotic tendency.
9:13 p.m. Janelle, Wil and Joe all agree that Frank is evil and getting rid of him is the best thing that could happen. Janelle’s taking a lot of credit for keeping Wil safe, which doesn’t make Wil happy. Hmmm… “I’m really starting to get fed up with Janelle,” says Wil, who would indeed have been this week’s target if Janelle hadn’t given him Immunity. “He’s just a bitchy, bitchy guy,” Janelle tells Joe. And things are about to get worse for Wil, who dreamt about the game all night. “She should be scared, because I’m really pissed off,” Wil tells Joe, which is exactly what The Screaming Tomato didn’t want to hear. Joe goes to Ashley and narcs on Wil’s discontent. Janelle is called in for the confab. “Oh my God, he’s such a nutty guy,” Janelle says. “I just don’t get it,” says Ashley, in the night’s least surprising line of dialogue.
9:21 p.m. Who’s really in control of the game?
9:22 p.m. Wil and Janelle sit down and chat. Janelle gets emotional and starts to cry, talking about how she didn’t want to hurt his feelings. I love the editing in this instance, because suddenly that validates the stupid conversation with Janelle and Britney. But will Wil buy the waterworks? Apparently not. “I’m not buying it, but I’ll act along,” Wil says, vowing not to trust Janelle for another second.
9:23 p.m. Frank needs to get Danielle’s vote, so she approaches Dan to make sure they’re all copacetic. Frank and Mike Boogie assure Dan that Danielle will be safe going forward. Dan says he trusts Frank, even if he doesn’t necessarily trust Mike Boogie. Dan doesn’t mind the sell of getting rid of Janelle’s players and he isn’t so solidly Team Shane anymore. Danielle reckons she has all the power this week. “I command you to stop liking him,” Dan tells Danielle of Shane, instructing her that she and Shane won’t date out in the real world. “I’m not losing 100K over a little high school crush,” he tells her. He’s also sounding like a man who’s ready to stop coaching and start playing.
9:27 p.m. Live time. Remember that $3000 that Boogie gave Ian? Ian’s planning on using it for rent and food. Fair enough. Boogie wishes his Uncle Rick a happy birthday. Danielle ranks her brief kiss with Shane from last week a “10.” And Shane gives it a “10.5.” I somehow suspect neither of these people are especially good with math. Janelle insists she had bruises on her legs from the hip-to-hip Coaches Competition.
9:32 p.m. CBS is advertising “Vegas” pretty well.
9:32 p.m. What does Shane have to say for himself? “As a Coach and a Player together, we thought it would be the best thing to do from my position,” Shane says of the decision to put Frank, who he doesn’t really trust, on the block. “Danielle is a sweet girl. I love spending time with her. She makes me laugh,” Shane says, but he also says that he fears the target that a showmance would put on his back.
9:34 p.m. Wait. Who is Frank’s father? He’s famous? Who knew? Oh. His dad is the wrestler Sid Vicious. Oh. That’s a huge disappointment. I REALLY wanted to discover that Frank actually was William Katt’s son. Sid regrets being on the road for Frank’s childhood. Sid has been watching regularly, though he didn’t know that Frank signed up for the show. Sid’s funny when discussing how well Frank handled Willie, saying that in the same circumstance, he’d have broken all of the bones in Willie’s body. It seems that Frank has random conversations in the living room with his dad. That’s weird.
9:41 p.m. Let’s get down to announcing something, eh?
9:41 p.m. We’re breaking the news of America’s Vote to the players. Britney gets a big smile when Julie mentions theories about the Coaches joining the game. I like it when Britney smiles.
9:42 p.m. The results… America has decided… “Yes.” If the Coaches agree to re-enter, there will be no eviction. If the Coaches remain as Coaches, there will still be an eviction, but there will be players reentering next week. Because we need more players, yo!
9:44 p.m. Only One Coach needs to vote to reenter. Britney’s up first. She hits the “Reset” button, meaning that the Coaches are back in the game. Mike Boogie says, “No thanks, America.” Interesting. Dan says “It’s time to get dirty” and hits the button. Janelle also doesn’t hesitate in hitting the button.
9:46 p.m. Julie announces to the hamsters that Joe and Frank are safe and the Coaches are back in. I’m SHOCKED!
9:52 p.m. Yup. Still reeling, eh?
9:52 p.m. Time for a new Head of Household competition. Because the game has been reset, Shane is eligible for HoH. The competition is called Walk the Plank and asks the hamsters to cling to a pirate ship.
9:53 p.m. It’s an endurance challenge, so we’re not going to get a result tonight. We do see that the ship kinda rocks back and forth a little, so that makes everything ever-so-much-harder.
9:54 p.m. So that’s about it for this episode.
9:55 p.m. Am I the only one who thinks this whole turn of events makes the Coaches look a little sad and pathetic? At least Mike Boogie had the decency to pretend to look like this wasn’t what he wanted. Everybody else, they’re just so DESPERATE to be back in the “Big Brother” game. Then again, it was always silly that they were whoring themselves out for a measly $100,000. Go Big and Go Britney!
9:57 p.m. Yup. Nobody’s falling off that ship in five minutes.
What do you think of the Twist? Were you shocked by America’s decision?