So this week we have the “Godspell” challenge, which will allow the judges a chance to cackle as they toss out one of their few (maybe only) reliable rules (don’t go costumey!) to make the designers, well, go costumey. Welcome to Upside Down World, where good is bad and bad is good and, well, that’s kind of “Project Runway” every damn week. Remember, it’s not fun unless somebody cries!
Speaking of Upside Down World, none of the designers can believe Rami got sent home next week. Jerell is especially flummoxed, as he actually liked Rami’s outfit. No one says “God knows it was certainly better than Austin’s ‘Golden Girls’ outfit,” but I’m sure most of them are thinking it.
But it seems Austin is just the man for the evening’s Broadway challenge. He tells us that theater is the world of illusion and fantasy as he makes circular motions with his hands, so we know he really gets it.
Legendary composer Stephen Schwartz will be our very special guest. The designers will be creating an outfit to be used in “Godspell,” specifically for Uzo Aduba’s character. Then, there’s a lot of garbled conversation about how the character is very rich, and steals money, but the cast dresses thrift store, to which probably made perfect sense in the half hour conversation Schwartz had with the designers, but sounds a little incoherent as presented here. But no one cares, because they want to have a Broadway debut! And get their bio in Playbill! That’s a very big deal! Because tourists from all over the country will be taking crinkling up those Playbills and scattering them through Times Square after they’ve used them to toss out their old gum! Oh, and it’s a separates challenge, as Uzo has to be able to put on the outfit while on onstage.
Austin is in such a good mood. This is his kind of challenge! He’s even able to look on the bright side when it comes to Kara. He loves her emotional roller coaster, as she can be in a fabulous mood one moment, then rolling in a deep depression the next. He calls it a fun-filled theme park ride, I call it manic depression. Tomato, tomahto.
Mila thinks the designers have been unnecessarily complimentary to one another. Worse yet, Kara and Kenley are, like, friends! Was Mila the little girl in school who had a birthday party no one came to? Just guessing.
After sketching and Mood, it’s time for Joanna Coles to pop in. She’s VERY excited about this challenge, which means she arches exactly one eyebrow and does not seem spectacularly bored. She loves Austin’s outfit, because it’s currently hideous but will be fabulous. Uh, thanks? Joanna thinks Kara’s boring outfit lacks ambition. I think it’s time for the emotional roller coaster of Kara to plummet! Joanna thinks Mila should make a pencil skirt out of her garish neon fabric. I think Mila should return said fabric to the ’80s from which it came, but if that’s out of the question, I guess a hideous pencil skirt will have to do.
Joanna announces that she was in “Godspell” at some point, so she’s taking this challenge to heart. Well, that accounts for her momentary interest in having facial expressions. She thinks Mondo’s outfit is fabulous, but hopes it reads from a distance. Jerell is… fine. Joanna can’t believe Kenley isn’t doing polka dots. She loves the coat, but I think we can all agree it does not look so hot with the skirt.
After Joanna leaves, Kara melts down like a grilled cheese sandwich. She’s so tired and she has to do so much and it’s just TOO MUCH! Michael and Mondo hug her in a moment of designer solidarity, though I have to say it must be easier to feel compassion for someone who is so clearly over her head on this show. It’s like a bunch of show dogs taking pity on the one-legged mongrel that wanders backstage.
Although everything seems fine after Joanna’s visit, all of a sudden, Mondo isn’t feeling his outfit. He’s reworking it. He’s upset. He’s freaking out. Oh, Mondo! Now it’s Kara’s turn to comfort him. Mondo reveals that he has to go to a very dark place to push himself to work harder. Can’t we just give him a copy of “Vogue” or something?
Kenley does everything flawlessly, so it must be so hard for the other designers. This is probably a massive hint that Kenley is ending up in the bottom this week.
Mila is working with her hooker wear fake-fur chubby, and it’s making her feel like a crazy cat woman. I’d argue that’s not the chubby, Mila. The friendlessness and harsh red lipstick, maybe.
Runway time! Coathanger Angela introduces the judges. Georgina Chapman, Isaac Mizrahi, and star of “Anything Goes,” Sutton Foster.
This definitely looks costume, but I’m not sure it meets the challenge. It certainly is too matchy to look thrift store. And the headpiece? Ugh. It looks like her head is molding.
I dig the jacket, and it does look thrift store. But with the skirt this looks far too clashy in a way that doesn’t work.
Well, that’s some apron! But I think it really does fit the challenge, and it is sort of super deluxe. Love the neckline. This is the most modern thing I think we’ve seen from Austin.
Was the challenge to dress the late Leona Helmsley?
This is better than I thought it was going to be. But still, not great. May be too coordinated to look thrift store, too. Was Kara listening to what the challenge was at all?
The winner. Hands down. Love this, love, love. Did I say love? Love.
The model looks like she’s either turning tricks or trying to get into a crap nightclub in East Hollywood. Blech.
Time for results. Jerell steps forward. He’s safe. Well, that’s the best he could have hoped for with that ugly ass old lady outfit.
Michael is on the block first. Angela loves the shoes. Georgina thought it wasn’t eccentric enough. Sutton said she looks like a rich party girl. Angela thought she seemed bitchy. Isaac thinks the color is difficult but well done. Really? The outfit was okay, but it really did not seem to fit the guidelines whatsoever.
Kenley talks about her own mixy-matchy phase. Isaac thinks the black shoe is too East Village. She doesn’t live in the East Village, but a doorway in the East Village. Georgina thinks there’s one element too many, but she loves the coat. Sutton thinks it would blend and not pop on stage. That Sutton has some good insights, actually.
Austin’s turn. Georgina thinks it’s modern but makes a nod toward Marie Antoinette. Angela really likes the silhouette. Isaac thinks it’s wonderful but borders on too young. But still, he really likes it.
Mila says she put a California take on hooking. Okay, that’s just me, but seriously, this is five dollar streetwalker fashion by way of Wet Seal. Isaac likes the top and sorta likes the bottom, but thinks together it doesn’t work. Sutton thought it bordered on street walker. Big props to Sutton for speaking the truth AND making Mila’s face pucker up more than it already does.
Moving on! Mondo talks about his fabulous outfit. Isaac thinks he’s sexy in a crazy, passive-aggressive way. Georgina thinks the layering makes it sparkle, but thinks he has to refine the length. Don’t care. Give him the win!
Kara talks about her outfit. Angela loves the red pop of the skirt, but she thinks the bow is too Bo-Peep. Isaac thinks it’s her best outfit, but she needed more time. Georgina thinks the ideas are good, but there are flaws (like the skirt slit). Wow, didn’t see the back of the skirt on the runway, but man, that’s bad. Where did she learn to sew, Jo-Ann Fabrics?
The judges go over their favorite looks. Michael is a favorite. Really? Miss Moldy Head gets props? Georgina thought it was clever. Sutton felt it wasn’t specific. I think we need to fire Georgina and see if Sutton can make time in her schedule to be a permanent judge. Oh, wait, Georgina is married to Harvey Weinstein, so she’s not going anywhere. Isaac thinks Mondo’s look was gorgeous. Finally! Georgina thinks he knew his woman, but she felt the length was unresolved. Georgina loved Austin’s Marie Antoinette idea.
Isaac thinks Mila’s girl looks like a drug user. A hooker AND a drug user — she’s nothing if not multi-talented! Sutton keeps thinking about “Pretty Woman” before she gets pretty. Isaac thought Kara’s was her best to date, but he still didn’t like it. Georgina thinks it’s almost good, but it’s not. Georgina was disappointed in Kenley, as she is the vintage person.
Michael is… safe. Mondo and Austin were the top two. The winner is… Mondo. Damn straight. He feels validated. Good. Austin is safe, too.
Kenley is… safe. It’s between Kara and Mila for crappiest costume. And, of course, Kara gets the boot. Since there seems to be a chance Kenley will freak out without her best friend, Kara’s exit is good for drama, plus let’s face it — Kara hasn’t made a really good outfit in the whole time she’s been on the show. Really, I’m shocked she’s been on this long.
But Kara is happy and grateful to have been an All Star. And, of course, she’s sad. But honestly, as much as Austin enjoys the Kara Emotional Roller Coaster (coming to a theme park near you!), it never seemed to take a stop in Great Design Land (also coming to a theme park near you). Of course, it would have been nice to see Mila get the boot (can she do ANOTHER outfit with stripes? Because really, she just can’t get enough), but I’m willing to wait for a little while. But just a little while.
Did you think it was Kara’s time to go? What did you think of Mila’s outfit? And didn’t you love Mondo’s?