If you”ve been holding off on Tuesday night”s “Sons of Anarchy,” you should probably grab your cuts, brush up on your dog code and put on your Cosby sweater before you”re spoiled by this review.
“Smoke ’em if you Got ’em” not only marked the approximate halfway point of the show”s final season, but it finally started to piece together some of the lies and storylines that have been woven through to date. I”m sure I”m not alone in feeling completely cheated out of a Juice/Gemma showdown following last week”s finale; picking up with her walking along the side of the road in high heels was not exactly fulfilling. I doubt anyone thought the matriarch figure would actually die during that showdown, but to not even show its resolution felt like a pretty big cheat. Especially since Juice didn”t hesitate with the trigger so many times before. Gemma technically should not have been an exception.
As it stands, I think our days with Ortiz have pretty much come to an end. While Gemma tried to collect herself (by spending gratuitous time with “Glee”s” Lea Michele in a random café that didn”t really push any kind of story), Juice attempted to barter himself a deal with the Mayans: Gemma”s car, almost $2,000 in cash and “club secrets” in exchange for help getting to the border.
At this point, the only club secret left worth telling would be the fact that Gemma killed Tara. When Juice was rightfully given up to the Sons (or I suppose more accurately, exchanged as a part of a bigger deal between the Mayans and SAMCRO), it seemed only logical that Juice-locked in the closet with Nero, would finally spill the beans. After all, this is the same guy who has always been so racked with guilt that he could never help but come clean. Now”s the time he chooses to keep his mouth shut? Mind you, the fact that the character still holds this intel is the only reason he”s stuck around as long as he has. By all rights he should have died by the end of the episode, when Jax and co. came to collect him. Instead we have to wait until next week to see if Juice will spill the beans, or if Jax will kill him first. I”m guessing it”s either the latter, or else Gemma finds a way to kill him first. Either way, Juicey is done piping up.
In other club business, Jax continued moving along his plans of revenge. We saw the early conversations of a patch-over alliance between the Sons and the Grim Bastards emerge (anyone else catch that sweater-free guest star appearance by former Cosby kid Malcolm-Jamal Warner as the untrustworthy Sticky?), and more plans to take down Marks.
Lin, who posed another threat thanks to the rumours that he was considering plea talks, forced Jax to convince Gemma that coming clean with her Chinese knowledge from that night would actually help the club. And the Bastards finally found a way to trust SAMCRO, thanks to the now-mandatory slaughter of random crew members that has become obligatory to this show. The Sons may have miraculously avoided all of that crossfire, but I”m not sure Marks will do the same with all those bodies the Sons dumped at Pope Industries.
As for Nero, well let”s just say he”s bound to figure this all out sooner rather than later. He”s seen a side of Gemma that no one else has, and thanks to a well-placed hint from Juice (along with the spotting of Gemma”s ride that Juice traded in), Nero is onto her. He just doesn”t want to believe how evil his “Mamma” can be. And to think that earlier on in the episode he and Jax were joking about Nero being Jax”s new step-father. “We all know how well that worked out in the past,” he foreshadowed for himself.
*** Bobby having a heart-to-heart with Wendy over a cigarette the way he used to with Tara was just sad, especially when he called her out for still having feelings for Jax.
*** If Marks is after SAMCRO, why has he not yet made a move? This episode felt like the calm before the storm, and the storm is about to come raging.
*** Unser is about to get more club intel, now that the critically wounded officer is awake. Of course she asked for him and not Jarry (or anyone else). Wonder if he”ll burry that evidence too? Now that he has no lot to park his motor home in, maybe not.
*** Marilyn Manson was back, but sadly there were no dog analogies this time. Just a whole lot of talk about maintaining the Nazi brand.
*** Speaking of, who doesn”t love a good old fashioned Nazi fight? Or … do we? The entire brawl Tuesday night felt staged, and like a way to get back on the Sons” good side despite all the shoddy things they”ve done. Look: the Sons hate Nazis, so they”re not all bad. Right? Right? At least we got to see Chibs throw down.
*** Gemma is back to talking to herself, and she”s not afraid to do it in public. Too bad Gerty didn”t hear more. They could have sung a song about it all.
*** Kiki did offer mint flavored blow jobs. Now we all know.
*** “It doesn”t matter. We”re with him.” Bobby, walking straight off the cliff.
What did you think of the episode? Upset at the way the Juice/Gemma showdown went down? Excited to see a Cosby kid in a cut? Let down by Lea Michele”s hyped up guest star appearance? Sound off below.
Sons of Anarchy airs Tuesdays at 10 p.m. ET on FX.