Time for the judges to snap up the last contestants! Given that they’ve been pretty picky along the way, they could be stuck with some pretty random crap in this episode, but as they’ve mostly filled up their teams, I guess they can suffer a few losers.
Whitney Myer is a performer from Reno. She’s in a band with her dad and uncle. She just wants to make a living at music, which seems reasonable, as you just know she’s going to be good. She performs “No One” very, very well. Adam spins. Next. Cee-Lo. Then, Blake. Finally, Christina. A fourpeat! Adam tells her she has the thing. And it’s the thing that Mary J Blige has. Cee-Lo thinks she’s energetic. Christina tells her that she kept it solid and made the Alicia Keys song her own. Blake tells her he’s a fan, whether or not she picks him. Adam can help her win. But Christina is the best! She goes with Adam because he seemed the most genuine. Adam only has one spot left!
David Dunn from Texas is next. No one turns. He gets lots of empty praise. The good news is he can always work for his dad, who has an oil company. He does have a nice voice, but it cracks here and there. Nerves, probably, but he’s a hit with the crowd, so that might count for something.
Next we have the Shields Brothers from Virginia. They live on a farm with their parents and appear to be tremendous dorks. They want to “punch America in the face with rock and roll.” By performing “Dancing with Myself.” It seems completely out of tune to me, but Cee-Lo spins for some reason. I think he just likes Billy Idol. And… he’s stuck with them because no one else spun. Adam assures the brothers they’re in the right hands, which I think is a nice way of saying “thank God you’re not with me.” Blake calls it chaotic, but in a nice way. Christina says it had great energy. Cee-Lo picked them because there were two of them. And yes, he loves Billy Idol. Cee-Lo only has room for two more artists. Hope he doesn’t regret picking these doofuses.
Cheesa (and it’s Chess-ah, not Cheese-ah) is from Hawaii. And she’s been singing since she was 10, and her family believed in her so much they moved to L.A. When the mortgage became too much, they moved into the garage and turned the rest of the house into elder care. So, there’s a lot at stake. And yet, this performance of “If I Were A Boy” is pretty awful. Out of tune, she starts too low, egads. No one is turning. And then, at the very, very end, Cee-Lo spins for her. What? I think the other judges are snickering that they’ve talked Cee-Lo into adding dead weight to his team.
Christina Milian is here, talking about social media. I’m glad she’s getting a paycheck, but I’m not really sure she’s doing anything.
Preston Shannon is 64 and a legend in Memphis. He performs “In the Midnight Hour.” Blake seems to have itchy fingers on this one. Still, no one turns. Adam declares that Preston is cooler than any of the judges. Cee-Lo declares him the real thing. All of the judges respect him, but no one wants an old guy, basically.
Lex Land from Texas is a camp counselor. Wow, I’ve actually heard of her before. She performs “I Can’t Make You Love Me,” and Cee-Lo turns before she’s gotten through a verse. Adam turns, too.
And the Slingobox craps out. Great. I’m just guessing this is a great performance, but have no way of knowing.
Blake also pushed his button. I think Christina did, but I can’t be sure. Adam was hearing Sade and not Adele and would like to mold her. But ultimately, Lex picks Blake.
Adam, Blake and Cee-Lo just have one spot left, while Christina has two.
Carson drops off an invite with Orlando Napier from Los Angeles. But don’t get too excited, as we have to see someone else first.
Cameron Novack is a jack of all genres. He sings R&B, he studied opera in Italy, he freestyles. Not that well, but he does. His opera singing is much better, though. He sings “You Oughta Know,” and… wow, does he sound like a girl or is that me? I mean, he’s not bad, but he’s high. No one turns for him. Everyone is stunned that it’s a guy. Adam is shocked he’s a he. Cameron begins rapping, so that he can leave on his own terms, according to Carson. Cee-Lo says he made a mistake and should have picked him. Adam says they should break the rules so Cee-Lo can take him. Cee-Lo looks a little nervous that someone might actually make him take this guy, but luckily, it would ruin the integrity of the show so it doesn’t happen.
Betty White promotes “The Lorax.” Let’s pretend we didn’t see the shameless plug.
Back to Orlando Napier. He was a reckless kid who ended up in jail for a few months. But it rejuvenated him as a person. And he plays in a band with his dad. He performs “Waiting on the World to Change.” He has a pleasant voice, though he misses some opportunities to really blow it out of the water. But still, very good. Adam turns almost immediately. And he could have waited, as no one else joins him. Adam loved his timing. Adam’s also happy because his team is complete.
To review, Adam’s team is:
Tony Lucca, Angel Taylor, Chris Cauley, Katrina Parker, Mathai, Karla Davis, Pip, Nicolle Galyon, Nathan Perrett, Kim Yarbrough, Whitney Myer and Orlando Napier.
Lee Koch is a baker in Temecula, California. He sings “Like A Rolling Stone.” It’s a stylistically true to Bob Dylan, but it’s not great. Still, he plays guitar and harmonica, which is at least interesting. Christina turns around with seconds to spare. She liked it when he started playing the harmonica. Lee tells Christina she’s his last chance at music, as he’s become a full-time baker. I hope he’s better at making bread.
Dear NBC: If I see one more promo for “Smash,” I may lose my mind. Thanks.
Wade is from Alabama. He grew up on a steady diet of R&B. He’s singing “Rehab.” I kind of love that he’s singing this. He’s got an interesting voice and this is an unexpected take on Amy Winehouse — it’s definitely his own, which is great. Cee-Lo spins, all alone. Blake thinks he has a great coach. Adam is glad he made it through. Christina likes that he chose an Amy Winehouse song. And now, Cee-Lo’s team is full. Cee-Lo reveals he was just about to work with Amy Winehouse before she died, so the performance was particularly relevant to him.
Cee-Lo’s team is:
Juliet Simms, Jamar Rogers, James Massone, Sarah Golden, Angie Johnson, Jamie Lono, Erin Martin, Justin Hopkins, The Shields Brothers, Tony Vincent, Cheesa and Wade.
Adley Stump is a country singer from Tulsa, Oklahoma. She’s been singing for ten months, and started singing with her sorority. Her mom knew she was a singer because Adley sang for Skittles while she was being potty trained. Adley is so proud that her mom just shared that with America, I’m sure. She performs “Last Name.” She’s actually very good — and doesn’t crack, even when no one turns around. Finally, Blake and Christina both spin toward the end of the song. Blake says Christina’s interest pushed him over the edge. Christina thought she has great power. Christina can help her with her runs and her growl, while Blake can help her tell stories. Adam notes that some of Adley’s vocals remind him of Christina’s. Her heart is telling her to go with…
… someone after the commercial. For “Fashion Star.” And “Are You There, Chelsea.” Does NBC even sell ads anymore? Or just plug other shows?
Anyway, Adley is going with Blake. So, Christina is the only judge with an empty slot.
Team Blake is:
RaeLynn, Erin Willett, Jermaine Paul, ALyX, Jordan Rager, Gwen Sebastian, Naia Kete, Lex Land, Jordis Unga, Charlotte Sometimes, Brian Fuente and Adley Stump.
Christina is the only judge with a slot left. Not that she’s in any rush to fill it. Performers come, performers go, and she couldn’t care less. I’m wondering if Blake is just going to reach over and slam down her button so he can go home.
But we still get a rundown of Team Christina:
Jesse Campbell, Monique Benabou, Ashley De La Rosa, The Line, Jonathas, Anthony Evans, Chris Mann, Moses Stone, Geoff McBride, Lindsay Pavao, Lee Koch and… someone.
That someone is probably Sera Hill from Georgia, who works at a hotel. She’s worried Christina won’t turn around, because she’s one of her inspirations. Yeah, she’s getting picked. She performs “I’m Going Down.” Christina has not only been looking for someone like Sera, she likes the song so much she wants to sing it with Sera. Not that she knows all the words, but she still loves it. And thus, they sing together. Sera is over the moon. Have to hand it to Christina — waiting until the bitter end, she does get a keeper.
Are you ready for the battle rounds? Are you looking forward to the mentoring and special guests (Lionel Richie, Kelly Clarkson, Robin Thicke, Jewel, Miranda Shelton, Ne-Yo, etc.)? Any theories as to who might be going home?