TMR: ‘Big Trouble’ on BluRay, ‘Paper Heart’ clips, and a ‘Cirque Du Freak’ trailer

08.05.09 8 years ago 5 Comments

Universal Pictures

Welcome to The Morning Read.

That darn Terry Gilliam, taking up my whole day yesterday.  Good thing he’s sort of awesome, or I’d be really upset.  I’ve got more interviews I’ll be editing for you later today, but first, there’s so much going on that it seems like we need a Read, don’t we?

I mean, we didn’t talk about this week’s home video releases.  It’s not a huge week, but you can finally get “Big Trouble In Little China” on BluRay, which I’ll be doing the next time I head into Hollywood.  I already have a copy of “Race To Witch Mountain” here on BluRay, and it’s worth it just for the cameo that happens 1:02:30 into the film.  I’m not sure who that guy posing with the Tusken Raider is, but I think he’s destined to be Hollywood’s next great superstar.  That is what film acting is all about.  HBO released “Flight Of The Conchords: Season Two” on DVD this week, pure silliness that I find easy to rewatch.  I haven’t seen “The Soloist,” and since it wasn’t sent for review, I’m not sure when I’ll get around to it.  I wrote about the absolutely ridiculous “Obsessed” recently, and I just wish it was a wee bit more knowingly campy.  That would help.  Finally, Disney’s got two catalog titles out on BluRay this week that I have right here, ready to be watched.  It’s been a while since I’ve seen “Sling Blade,” and I guess it’s probably time to revisit the movie that established Adam Sandler as a real commercial force and not just a cult phenomenon, “The Waterboy.”

RT @AdamFrazier: When Bill Clinton wants to bring two women home, not even North Korea can stop him.

Universal released the first trailer for their bigscreen adaptation of “Cirque Du Freak,” now called “The Vampire’s Assistant,” and, well…

[more after the jump]

… I sorta like that.  A lot.  Looks like it has its own sense of eccentric humor and a really poppy visual style.  Color me curious.

I would love to figure out how to draw residual checks for 12 years for a film I didn’t appear in.  Marlon Wayans may be smarter than we all think.

RT @Pat_Healy: This just in: Paula Abdul to be replaced on Idol by urine-soaked mop and one of those chickens that plays tic tac toe!

Attention Jay Leno and NBC:  I do not need to be saved.  Thanks.

Is “clueless asshole” a job?  If so, I think I can help this woman out.

Great… another bookmark I’ll have to visit every day.  Oh, wait, I’m married.  I don’t need to bookmark that site, cause I’ll never use it! Ahahahahahaha! Now comes the tears and the booze.

RT @leeunkrich TS Trivia: What’s Woody’s last name? (he actually has one, but it’s never been mentioned in the movies)

You know, Premiere, I remember the first flush of discovering your magazine back in 1987.  Oh, the potential.  Serious writing about movies.  In-depth looks at the process.  Don’t get me wrong… I feel horrible, terrible urges towards most of the lovely ladies on your list, but is this really where you’ve ended up?  This is what passes as content on the online-only version of what used to be?  Sad.  So sad.

RT @diorabaird1 At car wash. Guy on phone “Been there, done that. Twice.” My guess, he’s talking about sex with a tranny.

Speaking of struggling to match former levels of respect, it looks like “At The Movies” has ended the long national nightmare and finally realized that Ben Lyons has no business whatsoever discussing movies in a national forum.  Michael Phillips?  A.O. Scott?  That’s more like it.

Reading the excerpts that supposedly prove the plagiarism, I don’t know who to be more embarrassed for.  Can I sue both of them for being godawful?

I love that Weird Al continues to make music and live up to his name.  I also love that on the day he releases his latest music video, he has enough of a sense of humor to retweet the following:

RT @alyankovic RT @kurometarikku: Good to see that @alyankovic is using the immediacy of the Internet to lampoon such timely subjects as The Doors and CNR

I thought it was more of a goof on the insane pervasiveness of memes like those silly Chuck Norris quotes, but zing indeed, sir.  Weird Al can make all the dated jokes he wants as far as I’m concerned.

Have you been to Popcorn Fiction yet?  No?  WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

New Radiohead track! New Radiohead track! New Radiohead track!

“Paper Heart” is coming out this weekend, and I’m glad people are finally going to get a chance to see it.  I’ve been writing about the film since Sundance, and at Comic-Con, I was the moderator on a rather rowdy panel for the film, with Charlyne Yi, Nick Jasenovec, and Jake Johnson all participating, along with a somewhat out-of-control Q&A moment from Paul Scheer.  Great fun.  We’ve got a couple of new clips from the film today.  First up, Michael Cera orders… A SALAD!

I know that didn’t sound like it was going to be awesome… ordering a salad… but I really feel like Michael’s a sophisticated man about town after hearing him do it.  Next up, what I believe the screenwriting experts would call “the inciting incident”:

The film’s a low-key charmer, and well worth your time.  Please… if it’s opening near you, seek it out.  It’s the kind of little film I would love to see rewarded, sincere and honest and filled with great people doing great work.

If you know who Tucker Max is, you probably have an opinion about him.  I was recently sent his book, “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell,” as long-lead publicity on the upcoming film.  I sincerely do no know who the target audience for this book is.  There must be on, based on how many copies it sold, but I am just plain puzzled by why anyone would think this witless cretin was worth their time or attention.  Basically, he tells stories about (A) drinking (B) fucking and (C) throwing up or shitting his pants or ejaculating.  That’s about it.  Dozens and dozens of stories without a single decent punchline, filled with boring bragging about what sounds to be mostly miserable sex and a cornocopia of bodily fluids.  I’m not offended by Tucker Max… I just think that any culture that heralds this guy as “hilarious” probably deserves every bad thing that happens to it.  I’m guessing that the film version of “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell” is one of those bad things that is going to happen to our culture, at least based on this trailer:

I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

Wow.  When I look at a trailer and my first thought is, “Can’t I just watch a direct-to-video ‘Van Wilder’ sequel instead?”, that is probably not a good thing.  I really liked Bob Gosse’s earlier films, “Julie Johnson” in particular, but I think it’s safe to say that no one needs to suffer though this thing when it dribbles into theaters in September.

RT @jerslater Who the hell is Tucker Max, and how fast can we kill him with hammers?

So I’ve heard repeatedly now that Thomas Pynchon is actually narrating the trailer for his new novel, Inherent Vice.  It’s a cool trailer…

… but how do we know it’s Pynchon?  Is there a source for that information?  I haven’t actually seen it verified anywhere.  Whatever the case, I know what’s hitting my reading stack ASAP.

Zak Penn sure does like superheroes… and that pleases me.

Gotta say… “Machete” has the best cast ever for a movie that sounds like pure lunacy.  Robert Rodriguez and Ethan Maniquis are co-directing Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Steven Seagal, Lindsay Lohan, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson and Jeff Fahey.  Fine! You win! I’ll see it twice!

RT @leeunkrich Woody’s actual full name is “Woody Pride”, and has been since the earliest days of developing the original Toy Story.

Huh.  Did not know that.  Score one last point for Twitter.  Now I’m off to get that Miyazaki interview ready for you guys, as well as those animation roundtables from Disney, which included time with Lee Unkrich and some talk about “Toy Story 3.”  Hopefully I’ll have that later today.

The Morning Read appears here every day, Monday through Friday.  Except when it doesn’t.

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