Yes, it’s time for part one of the supersized reunion special (which really could be a series unto itself) of “The Real Housewives of Orange County.” In this edition, there’s some fighting, some screaming, that sort of thing. That’s no big surprise. What may be surprising for anyone who tuned out this season is just how the allegiances have changed. I wonder if Bravo sent the girls a memo and said, hey, time to mix it up. We can only afford one new housewife and some of you are looking a little stale to us. For those who weren’t paying attention, former besties Vicki and Tamra are on the outs. Former enemies Tamra and Gretchen (yes, Gretchen) are besties. Former sorta enemies Vicki and Alexis are also besties. Up is down, hell has frozen over, you name it. It’s not really that different, to tell the truth, sort of like rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. The one breath of fresh air is, of course, Heather, who is not only the sole brunette, but the only housewife who still has some shred of sanity. Of course, during this part of the reunion she’s starting to sound a lot like her cohorts, which is a bitter disappointment.
Heather, in fact, is the first one to jump into a battle royale. After telling Andy how much she genuinely likes everyone on the show, and Gretchen and Tamara vow their love for one another, Heather gets into it with Alexis. I have to say, fighting with Alexis is a bit like shooting fish in a barrel. She can barely form sentences under the best of conditions, only recently figured out that Costa Rica is in Central America and seemingly stopped paying attention to all that troublesome learning stuff in middle school, when she discovered lip gloss. But Heather doesn’t seem to mind. She thinks Jim is overpowering, Tamra hates Jim, and Alexis thinks they just don’t understand. Eventually Andy changes the subject, as it’s just too hard to watch Alexis stand stock still as she tries to think of big words to say in her own defense.
But onward and upward! Vicki is sad that she and Tamra have drifted apart. Tamra is sad, too! But don’t for a minute think they’re going to hug it out. Tamra thinks Brooks is a d-bag and she’s not about to let that ride. Vicki defends his dorky Hallmark cards “Hallmark is my love language!” she screeches. I wonder if her love language is also keeping a deadbeat dad around the house as a pet, but whatever. Tomato, tomato.
Once Tamra has gotten sufficiently riled up poking at Vicki, she and Alexis get into it. Hey, it’s just like Costa Rica and Gang Up on Alexis night! Alexis tells Tamra she doesn’t want to be around bitter, old, nasty people, which is her version of a searing insult.
At the end of this first installment, we realize that not much has been said and nothing has been resolved, but the volume has been awfully high. Which, actually, sounds like every episode of “RHoOC” ever. Can’t wait for more!
What topic do you want to be discussed in the next reunion installment? Do you think Vicki and Tamra will ever make up? And how long with Tamra and Gretchen stay friends?