It’s time to get excited, “Avengers” fans, as Marvel – in addition to earlier announcing that the film will now be digitally remastered for IMAX 3D – has just released 17 whole seconds of explosive action from the Joss Whedon movie’s forthcoming Superbowl spot. That’s right: SEVENTEEN seconds. BOOM! ZAP! POW!
So, what does the teaser reveal? Allow me to give you a play-by-play (you can scroll to the bottom to watch if you’d rather skip the description)…
ESTABLISH: The New York City skyline. All is calm. Or maybe not…
As we see dozens of horrified urbanites running for their freaking lives down a city street in slow motion! Aaaah!!!
BOOM! Something explodes next to a taxi cab! Oh, my goooood…!!
CUT TO: Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.), looking dour.
CUT TO: Thor (Chris Hemsworth), thrusting his big, mighty, glowing hammer skyward! Followed by…
CRASH! A huge bolt of lightning hits the top of the Empire State Building. You go, Thor!
CUT TO: Black Widow’s chest. She looks at something off-camera…but what? Scarlett Johansson is totally hot, huh you guys?
CUT TO: A dust-covered Captain America (Chris Evans) kneels on the ground. Someone off-screen offers him a hand…but who?…
It’s THOR! He’s got long blonde hair and he’s very handsome and manly. He pulls Captain America to his feet very aggressively, like men do. Thanks, Thor!
BOOM! KRA-KOW! BLAM! More explosions! Several objects are flying at the screen…WHOOSH!…is that Loki (Tom Hiddleston) and friends dropping bombs on innocent bystanders? That is so totally wrong!! I don’t like them.
SHROOM! Something else is flying at us now, and it’s super-fast, and…what’s that you say? It’s Iron Man? Woah, cool! Also, some other objects are flying after him and shooting things at him. Will Iron Man make it out alive?
Wait, what’s going on?? Oh my god, it looks like Iron Man is flying right into…ROOAAAARRR!! Aaaah!!…the Hulk (Mark Ruffalo) and his big face!! He looks really mad, you guys, damn! Hahaha! Oh my god, that was sooo freakin’ sweet! Yeah!!
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“The Avengers” hits theaters on May 4th.