One of the highlights of last night’s Miley Cyrus-hosted “SNL” episode was undoubtedly the reveal of some never-before-seen “50 Shades of Grey” screen-chemistry tests (embedded below), which saw a coterie of Hollywood’s biggest stars including Scarlett Johansson, Seth Rogen, Kristen Stewart and….uh, Steve Harvey trying to score one of the lead roles in Universal’s forthcoming adaptation of E.L. James’ embarrassingly overhyped novel. Which got us to thinking: if you could replace Charlie Hunnam and Dakota Johnson with any of the actors featured, which two would you choose? See below for our helpful list of pros and cons, then vote in out totally meaningless poll further down to let us know which hypothetical onscreen pairing you prefer.
Scarlett Johansson and Christoph Waltz
Pros: Can you think of a hotter on-screen pairing than Scarlett Johansson and Christoph Waltz? Because I can’t.
Cons: When I actually stopped to think about this, I vomited.
Seth Rogen and Emma Stone
Pros: Seth Rogen and Emma Stone together = goofy-charm explosion.
Cons: “Seth Rogen naked” is something I have never typed in Google.
Kristin Chenoweth and Shaquille O’Neal
Pros: A fascinating look into the logistics of sex between individuals with a 2-foot height differential.
Cons: A disturbing look into the logistics of sex between individuals with a 2-foot height differential.
Tracy Morgan and Tilda Swinton
Pros: Tilda Swinton and Tracy Morgan. Playing lovers in a movie. If this is wrong, I don’t want to be right.
Cons: None. Someone make this happen immediately.
Rebel Wilson and Steve Harvey
Pros: Rebel Wilson and Steve Harvey kink movie = actual Super Fun Night.
Cons: Some things you cannot unsee, and Rebel Wilson hopping up on Steve Harvey’s tickler is probably one of them.
Philip Seymour Hoffman and Kristen Stewart
Pros: Inevitable post-release shame tour by Philip Seymour Hoffman.
Cons: Kristen Stewart nervous-tic apocalypse.
Aziz Ansari and Mary-Louise Parker
Pros: Trying to get Aziz Ansari to say “anal beads” at the press junket.
Cons: Getting thrown out of the press junket.
Jon Cryer and Jane Lynch
Pros: Jon Cryer could auction off all those apple boxes for charity.
Cons: Jane Lynch may literally eat Jon Cryer for breakfast, and I don’t like to see people getting hurt.
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