Why Norman Bates Should Be Your #1 Movie Crush

10.28.14 2 years ago

Meet Norman! He's your new movie boyfriend and the most dashing, cuddly, shy, and secretly motherly man in all of cinema. It's rare that men are in touch with their maternal instincts anymore. What a catch! Let's get to know him just ahead of his favorite day of the year, Halloween.

Here he is on the steps of his tall Victorian home wishing you hello. Hi, there!

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He's nervous around new folks, but he's happy to meet you. Swear! Look at him giggle. He's got one of those faces you can't help trusting.

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But make no mistake: He can't be best friends with you because he already has a best friend. It's really cute, actually. His loyalty is one of his most attractive traits.

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You can also check into his motel if you need a place to stay! Twelve rooms, twelve vacancies. Here he is looking over your paperwork.

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Here he is checking on you to make sure you're all settled in. Aw! 

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Did you say you love taxidermy? That's one of Normy's favorite hobbies! Here he is listening to you bring up your favorite stuffing techniques. He's all ears.

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Oh, look here: He's embarrassed that he caught you at an inopportune moment. Adorable. Make sure you close the bathroom door next time.

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But while he's here: Need anything? He's heading back up to the house in case you want more towels.

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Now that you're all dry: Can you keep secrets? Norm knows you now and is cool sharing one with you. Shhh: It's a little pearl of wisdom about the human condition.

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Mad! Like a big silly bird. Who isn't mad sometimes? 

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Well, I'll tell you one person who's never mad: Norm's mother. She's always thrilled to visit you in her favorite housedress.

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And after you visit with Mom, Norman's kind enough to use his little arms to help you load your car and get you on your way. He'll even put YOU in the trunk if you're up for a fun adventure.

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Adventure makes Norm perk up.

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But wait. You want to leave? No! Don't go! Norm's just beginning to have fun.

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Now Norm's sad. Aw. He's locking himself up in his little cell and never coming out.

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But don't worry. If you want to come hang out again, mother's always available to take your call. Bye-bye.

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Best wishes from the dreamiest man and most protective mom in cinema, Norman. Xoxo.

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