Why the new Katherine Heigl movie ‘Home Sweet Hell’ is essential

04.07.15 2 years ago

This is an urgent situation in which I explain that “Home Sweet Hell,” the new Katherine Heigl/Patrick Wilson movie on DVD/Blu-Ray today, is essential viewing. For somebody. Spoiler: I have not seen the new Katherine Heigl/Patrick Wilson movie “Home Sweet Hell.” It is my belief that I understand this film innately and shouldn't tarnish that connection with an actual viewing. It's about respect. Meanwhile I've examined the cover art of “Home Sweet Hell” and figured out every reason someone else must watch it.

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I'm stating the obvious here, but what a treat this is. Katherine Heigl is pointing a knife at her movie husband Patrick Wilson because after all, this home is a hell. Never forget that. 

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Even these credits are scrumptious. Jim Belushi? As what, exactly? Do we think he plays “Home” or “Sweet”? The Jordana Brewster inclusion is troubling. Legally she can only star in the “Fast/Furious” movies, and this is a clear breach. Does she still have the same hair as she did 15 years ago? That hair is why I gave her the nickname Gasoline Ali MacGraw, so I hope she didn't go changing it.

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I guess now we have to discuss the “facial expressions” on display here. Is Katherine… wincing? It looks like smile-crying. Laugh-weeping? Anger-giggling. It looks like sorrow and doubt and concern. But about what? The correct answer is: the unknown. Or maybe the fact that Patrick is behind her looking like a ghastly Lego man who has seen a terrible fire. Neither of these expressions qualifies as human, and I congratulate both parties for their liberal interpretation of personality.  

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Pardon me, that's not Patrick Wilson. That is a brick of adobe pointed at Katherine Heigl. Wait, I just figured out what she's trying to convey here. It is: “You win, Shonda.” 

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This is the slogan of “Home Sweet Hell.” It rhymes, which is pleasing to the ear. No one can deny that. Too bad it is ominous fortune cookie text. Relieved they went with this version and not PSYCHO HEIGL, UNHAPPY BAGEL though. What an upgrade.

Clearly there's a lot of hype and company excitement built around this release.

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After all, “Home Sweet Hell” is being released on both Blu-Ray and Digtital HD.

Digtital HD. 

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DIGTITAL HD. I would describe that particular shade of crimson as PROOF RED. Enjoy this film, everyone else! 

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