We’re all still trying to cope with the fact NBC didn’t air the policemen’s choir singing “Get Lucky” during the Opening Ceremony (blah blah, wasn’t really part of the ceremony, blah blah), but that doesn’t mean there isn’t some fun stuff to watch. Like curling. Don’t you want to hire some of these people to scrub your floors? Because they get the job done, people.
5:00 a.m. ET (2:00 a.m. PT) – Men’s Round Robin Curling
It’s Norway versus Russia (and concurrently Great Britain versus Germany) in the most exciting… okay, wait, it’s curling. The cleanest? The sweepy-est? I don’t know, I find curling soothing, don’t you? And if you’re up this early, maybe it will help you get back to sleep. You’re welcome.
7:00 a.m. ET (4:00 a.m. PT) – Women’s Ski Slopestyle Final
We’re all about the slopestyle. Because it sounds so cool. It’s not just slope. It’s slopeSTYLE.
2:15 p.m. ET (11:15 a.m. PT) – Men’s 12.5 km Pursuit Biathlon
This sounds dangerous. And kind of like an action movie. We’re in!
4:00 p.m. ET (1:00 p.m. PT) – Men’s Moguls Freestyle Skiing Final
Skiing seems a lot harder with bumps in the snow. These guys are all about the bumps in the snow. Watch and admire their quads. Canadian Alex Bilodeau is the favorite, but this might be a tough one. Rising temperatures in Sochi have turned all the ski and snowboarding courses into mushy wet stuff you last saw in a Slurpee machine. But this could be great stuff for YouTube gag reels everywhere!
10:30 p.m. ET (7:30 p.m. PT) – Women’s Hockey – Canada vs. the United States
While we all should root for the Americans, if they lose to the Canadians, we can’t be too mad — even if the Canadians are kicking ass (they have 7 total medals and we have just 5). Canadians are so personable. Except for Justin Bieber, and he isn’t competing anyway.