As long as all of the athletes can bang their way out of their locked hotel rooms and shimmy through open elevator shafts (and, you know, their toilets and showers mostly work), we’re totally gonna have more Olympics! Maybe!
3:30 a.m. ET – Women’s half pipe snowboarding final
The great thing about watching snowboarding at the Olympics is that everyone seems to be having fun. Not like figure skating.
5:00 a.m. ET – Women’s round robin curling – USA vs. China
This could be seen as a highly political battle between two powerful nations. But it’s curling.
7:30 a.m. ET – Nordic combined skiing – Individual normal hill cross-country
This should be fun, because Bill Demong and Taylor Fletcher like to make silly bets wit one another, and the loser usually ends up wearing a super hero costume. I am so betting they’re betting on who medals in this category, so one of these guys is wearing colorful tights in Sochi! Or maybe they should wait until they get home.
9:00 a.m. ET – Men’s 100m speed skating
This is all about Shani Davis, people. The first black athlete to win an individual Winter Olympic gold, he got into speed skating after his mom wanted him to pursue roller dance. Totally think he made the right decision. Oh, wait, more potential history to be made! If he grabs gold at this Olympics, he’ll become the first American to take the gold at three consecutive Olympics. Watch this one!
11:00 a.m ET – Women’s singles luge – Run 4 of 4
Luge! LUGE! Just think — some people found an actual, sports-related use for their childhood sledding!
12:30 p.m. ET – Men’s half pipe snowboarding final
Did you know there are snowboarders other than Shaun White at the Olympics? Yes, yes there are. And from other countries and everything. Keep an eye out for Hirano Ayuma (Japan) and Podladtchikov Iouri (Switzerland).