In the market for a mansion? How about an X-Mansion? No, it's not a residence that was downgraded, it's the home of Professor Xavier from the X-Men movie franchise and it's on the market! Sort of.
Coldwell Banker probably never thought they'd get into the viral movie marketing business but here they are and we are all better for it. While past marketing of the X-Men films has included horrific food tie-ins, Coldwell's listing of 1407 Graymalkin Lane, Salem Center, NY 10560 is pure fan fun.
In the last few years the X-Mansion has been played by Hatley Castle and Englefield House but you can bet those won't be for sale anytime soon. In the meantime we can imagine what life might be like if the listing were real and any of us had remotely enough money to buy it.
Originally built in the 1700's by Dutch settlers, this sprawling multi-acre parcel is located roughly 40 miles outside of New York City near its own private waterfront – Breakstone Lake. In its near 300 years of service, this estate has been the primary residence for New York's elite society, as well as the students of Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters – an exclusive private academy run by renowned geneticist, Professor Charles Xavier.
With 24+ bedrooms, the East and West wings offer spacious living that can serve as either comfortable dormitories or substantial guest quarters.
During its conversion from a great house to an educational institution, the property has experienced multiple upgrades to maintain its top-of-the-line security and in-home technology systems, including multiple backup generators, a one-of-a-kind electronic communications hub that can broadcast an array of global newsfeeds, and a fully retractable regulation-sized basketball court that conceals a private underground jet hangar.
Featuring three lavish stories, in addition to a main basement and two sub-basements, this property is built to survive even the most catastrophic apocalypse. Complete with its own gourmet kitchen, with adjoining Butler's pantry and climate-controlled wine cellar, you have everything you need to entertain the crème de la crème of the cultured elite. There's even a picturesque attic greenhouse that boasts an assortment of rare and exotic plants from around the world.
A fully automated, state-of-the-art training facility incorporates the latest in custom martial arts, self-defense, combat survival programs, in addition to its own luxury health spa. Along with its world-class medical bay and treatment facility, conveniently located in the basement, you're fully prepared to treat everything from sprained ankles and plasma burns, to unexpected lightning strikes and animal bites.
Two of the property's most uniquely desirable features are its underground R&D lab, complete with a fully-functioning power amplification device, for mind control and telepathy, as well as its in-ground Olympic sized pool.
The estate of the Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters is a utopian upstate paradise that represents the pinnacle of luxury and awesomeness for both humans and X-Men.
The listing even gives testimonials from residents. Like Peter Maximoff, “I could run around this place for literally seconds and not see every bit of it; it's that big.” And if that isn't enough Coldwellbanker.com/xmen gives a bunch more X-Men: Apocalypse content included TV spots and trailers as well as some blog posts and the video tour.
I'm also convinced the listing agent's name, Kala V. Rhomedren, is an anagram for something but I haven't cracked it yet. I have found it can turn into Kraal Herd Venom, Karma Nerd Hovel, Ad Marvel Honker, Marvel Hank Redo, Herald Ark Venom, and Darken Marvel Ho though and that's good enough for me. [UPDATE: Tipster Matt emailed me to let me know the obvious one I missed: Kala V. Rhomedren = Raven Darkholme. Thanks, Matt!]