Your cheerleader is whats-her-face from some team. She has no face, or a head, even, but all the essential parts are there.
Before we close out the week, it’s only fair to show you a behind-the-scenes glimpse of this humble blog’s inner dealings.
A couple nights ago, our blog’s fantasy football contest winner and resident shiksa Sarah Schorno sent us this humble and (seemingly) simple request:
I’ve been offered a sports column for [redacted] and I need to come up with a name for it. It has to be provocative and slightly naughty yet still sports related. My editor wants to call it Sarah Schorno’s Got Balls (which is awful).
A little about the column: it’ll be a mix of profiles and commentaries on different sports, sports figures and issues. The commentaries will be similar to my Huffington Post pieces but much less buttoned up and more provocative.
I figured that you guys would have some insight and amidst the ridiculous suggestions you’re all about to send me I might get something I can use.
Needless to say; this was a wonderful idea on her part. I mean, we’re creative! Flubby even quipped, “If only there was a ribald word that rhymed with ‘Schorno…'” Unfortunately, as the list below would indicate, that was as clever as the naming session would get, as we proceed to make the people that tried to name their kid “4real” look like a couple of Rhodes scholars.
You know, sometimes we hit gold when we throw something up here. Sometimes we don’t. But keep in mind for every crappy Packers preview that you (can’t) read in this space, there are scores of passages, fake interviews, and gimmickry that even we couldn’t stomach seeing here.
Anyway, the list of suggested column names. Enjoy your weekend and the games.
Thanks For the Mammaries
Teacher Takes A Two-Pronged Dildo Up Her Oily Ass
Grass on the Field
The Poon Cut Crew
Sarah Schorno’s Got Balls On Her Chin
Schornography (okay, I was impressed with this one)
Former Dorm Ho with Sarah Schorno
A is for Athletics…and My Cup Size
Will Fondle Jews For Sports Insight
Dirty Freddy Sanchez
Sports on Sarah
In The Tunnel With Sarah
Remember the Fallopians
We Are…Menstral !
Huffing On Post
I Don’t Mind Anal As Long As It Follows A Nice Meal
Monday Morning Cum Dumpster (Boo)
Medial Collateral Labbia
Head To Head with Sarah
Bumping Uglies with Sarah
Let Me Talk About Sports As I Hunt For My Child’s Legitimate Father
Establishing the Pass with Sarah
Hoggin’ Balls In Jersey
I Am Dickless But Still Kinda Know Stuff
Fluffin’ Sports Weekly
The Last Girl Scout
Camel Turf Toe
I Wear Makeup Because Daddy Hates Me
Grand Theft Schorno
The Fifth Period, Which Is About Ten Days Late
A Mouthful Of Comeuppance
Always Be Covering Up When The Lights Are On
Leading Off At Centerfold
Life’s a Bitch and So Am I
Sarah Plain and LOL