CINCINNATI — A day after declining the Washington Redskins’ offer of potentially two first-round picks for wide receiver Chad Johnson, the Cincinnati Bengals shipped the restive wideout to omnipresent comedian Tyler Perry.
“Chad will fit in well with our stereotype-laden productions filled with embarrassingly silly, shiftless blacks,” Perry said from the set of his latest movie, “Tyler Perry’s Madea Goes to The Church Social,” which will be released exactly a week after his current project “Tyler Perry’s Meet The Browns” leaves theatres.
“I got a vision for Chad. This next movie has a need for a goofy black mail carrier who occasionally hits the pipe. Knowing him, it won’t be hard to work in a exuberant dance number everytime he cracks a joke.”
“I think I’d be interested in seeing that,” said every black person you know.
In exchange for the Pro Bowler, the Bengals receive 10 percent of the box office receipts of any film that Johnson appears in, as well as a fat suit and a granny wig.
“We really found a situation that was best for all involved,” said Bengals head coach Marvin Lewis. “Chad got to leave the Bengals and we got a steady source of income to compensate for the team losing more of its increasingly frustrated fans.”
Reached for comment, Johnson made a motion of a circle with his finger then blew a burst of air through it. He laughed maniacally for five seconds, turned quickly and walked off.