Michael Strahan: I’sss my dissstinct pleasure like to welcome ya’lls to my new show, STOMPING. YOU. OUT. … at night. We’re gonna try do our comedy thing, have some fun and maybe learn something about the same time.
Ronnie The Band Leader: Youse a funny motherfucker, Michael.
Strahan: I ain’t told no jokes yet.
Ronnie: BAHAHAHAHA! That’s rich! Ain’t told no jokes! You don’t even need writers.
Strahan: Hehhh, aight man.
Okay. Let’sss welcome my hilariousss sidekick on the show, you might know him asss the the gunssslinger, MAH MAN… Brett Favre!
[Show’s theme plays]
Brett Favre: Pleasure to be here.
Strahan: I think it’s gonna be a good thing we gotsss here. Me and you? We got a report and shit.
Favre: A rapport?
Strahan: You with your fucking French name would know how to pronounsssssse that shit.
Ronnie: Ha! French! Ha! Killed it!
Favre: So which guests do we have tonight?
Strahan: Oh, we got some guests, but firsss thing’s firsss.
Favre: What’s that?
Strahan: Bitch, you know exactly what I mean. Drop yo’ ass on the floor.
Favre: I thought we agreed not to do this.
Strahan: We did. But I disssagree with our agreement. People, you remember how Favre fell hisss assss down to let me git my sack record. Well, beginning a’ each show, pretty boy here gonna fall his ass on the ground.
Favre: But it’s humiliating.
Strahan: How you think it look for me? Bring you out here in front a’ all thessse peoplesss, then you not fall down? Ludicrousss.
Ronnie: A fuckin’ disgrace is what it’d be. OH!
Favre: [Sighs] I knew I should’ve taken that analyst gig.
[Favre stands out of chair, takes two steps toward audience then collapses onto the floor]
Strahan: Hahaha. Exsssssellent! We got a great show for you this evening, we got Natasha Bedingfield and that hot bitch from that reality show. Whatever, she hot. Be right back.
Now get off stage, Favre!