Donovan McNabb: It’s about that time, my Benny bear. I’ve waited so long.
Ben Roethlisberger: HI DONOVAN
McNabb: Four years. Whew. Four. Long. Years. Can you believe it?
Roethlisberger: WE’RE DOING GOOD RIGHT NOW!
McNabb: I bet you are. How’ve you been holding up?
Roethlisberger: MY SHOULDER BEEN SPRAINED. OR SEPARATED. I THINK SPRAINERATED.
McNabb: Sounds like you need a rubdown.
Roethlisberger: GOT TRAINERS FOR RUBDOWN.
McNabb: How ’bout I be your trainer?
Roethlisberger: GOTTA ASK COACH
McNabb: Don’t be like that. You let coach tell you how to run your life?
McNabb: Well I think you – Oh shit, that cameraman is watching us. Play the part, man, play the part. [Raises voice with forced bass] Yeah, well, ya’ll got us last time, bitch, but that was then! I’mma throw all over the field on your lame-ass secondary! Me and Westbrook gone light shit up.
Roethlisberger: HOPE SOMEONE TAPES THE NEW ENTOURAGE FOR ME
McNabb: Yeah, well, FUCK YOU, man. We’re the only real team in this state. We gone keep it all the way live in the 215! For real!
Roethlisberger: HARF HARF HARF THAT RHYMES
McNabb: … All right, he’s gone. [Adopts tender voice] You know I love that laugh. Makes my dick wanna vomit like it’s the Super Bowl all over again. So you’re gonna call me, right? I mean it. Call me, Ben.
So I can make it juicy for ya.
So I can get it juicy for ya
Roethlisberger: OKAY, BUT HINES GOTTA SHOW ME HOW TO WORK THE PHONE.