The once-awaited rematch of the five-interception tour de felch that was last year’s AFC Championship Game has paled a touch in the past month, given the usual early-season stumblings of the Chargers and Bernard Pollard’s neutering of the Patriots, still manages to be one of the more exciting games of the week. Cassel represents a wholly douchey team while Rivers represents most of the doucheiness within his own squad. It’s a contrast in styles, but hopefully a still-watchable game. So, WHO YA GOT?
Matt Cassel____________________Philip Rivers
How you know he has AIDS
Proximity to Leinart and Brady______________Raped by Merriman
Play marked by
Staring down receivers______________Beating punters on hang time
Needs to utilize
Quitting Randy Moss________
Useless LaKneeInjury who can’t get in from the oneMy Tiny Darren
Will either save Indy?
Courted his wife with
Rousing rendition of “I Want It That Way”________________All that sexy abstinence
Red Sox distract baseball town from football team they already gave up on____Can still blame it on Norv