You may got fond memories of your time in New York but they was more than ready to cast your ass out to get their big name superstar gunslinger.
The plain truth is:
I like you, Chad. You a soft-spoken guy who gets his point across with an economy of words. Maybe I see a lot of myself in you. By seeing you succeed, it’s like seeing myself succeed, even though I am, in fact, actually succeeding when you succeed. Peezy gotta a vested interest, BUT HE’S STILL SINCERE IN HIS SENTIMENT!
THAT’S WHY WE GONNA FIX THEY GUNSLINGER! MAKE HIM THE HUCKLESLINGER!
Don’t give me those puppy dog eyes. Laveranues don’t love you. He still catching them Brett Favre passes ain’t he? He didn’t quit in protest when they cut you. Laveranues just another cutthroat businessman with his own interests in mind. He’d cut your dick off if it meant it triggered an incentive in his contract. MORE RECEIVERS GOT DICK-CHOPPING CLAUSES THAN YOU MIGHT THINK!
You gotta get mad, Chad. No more mild-mannered Pennington gonna do. We need some fire-breathing take-no-prisoners stab-you-in-the-dickhole-with-a-rusty-fishhook Chad. BRING OUT THAT CHAD!
THERE YOU GO! THAT’S RIGHT! GET FIRED UP! GET FIRED UP, CHAD! ACT LIKE SOMEONE STOLE YOUR SPECIAL K AND REPLACED IT WITH BROKE-DICK REGULAR K!
Peezy ready for the stretch. We gonna fix these playoffs. Fix them Jets. Fix them Ravens. Then fix them Steelers. Fix everybody!
Yeah, you heard me right. Peezy been done wrong too! They said he was past his prime. SUN NEVER SETS ON PEEZY PRIME! I still love them Steelers! A DOG’S A DOG FOR LIFE! But the fact of the matter is, they still disrespected my ass by letting me go. PEEZY GONNA GET HIS! Maybe I’ll give LenDale a lesson on kicking Terrible Towels in the dirt! I got a good dirt kick I developed from my sack dance. AND I GOT LOTSA SACKS! SACK YO TOWEL IN THE DIRT! JUST LIKE ODB SAY, GOD MAKE DIRT AND DIRT BUST YA ASS!
Now I just gotta work on Ricky. He seems calmer than usual this week.
FIX YO CALM, RICKY!