With Gene Upshaw dead and gone, the NFL Players Association is now (after only five months) closing in on selecting a new executive director to cave to the demands of the ownership. Because this is much more fun than discussing the football game we should having this weekend, WHO YA GOT?
Troy Vincent___________________Trace Armstrong
Number of Pro Bowl selections (as if that were relevant to doing this job)
Evidence of solid bargaining tactics
Learned memorably hateful chants from Eagles fans________Met eyes with Al Davis, soul somehow intact
Can they save us from a goddamned uncapped season?
Fuck if I know_______________________Doubtful
Will push for
Perhaps not letting Goodell arbitrarily suspend players_____________Better pensions for scrappy white defenders
Reasons you probably don’t want him heading a union
He is Trenton_______________Is Marty Schottenheimer’s agent (Also born in Bethesda)
Commemorative patch after death