We just couldn’t help ourselves. More non-football Kanye VMA incident Photoshoppery available at Holy Taco.
Emmitt Smiff will appear on The Today Show on Friday (why the hell not? They already let Jenna Bush be a regular) to help Matt Lauer and Al Roker “serenate” the Cowboys new stadium. “If a punt were to stripe the Jumbothong, we would have what they call in golf, a Cortland Finnegan.” [Awful Announcing]
You’ve probably seen it elsewhere by now (as in, the live broadcast when it happened) but here’s video of Brady being a dismissive slapdick to the Matron Saint when she was trying to get a simple postgame quote. Listen here and listen good, Dreamscrote, you are messing with forces beyond your limited comprehension. You will show the Matron Saint her due reverence or, so help me, I’ll tear your nuts off and have Aaron Schobel run them back for six. [WithLeather]
There was some disagreement among the KSK ranks about who is the most deserving of the dubious distinction of being the Jeff George Memorial Least of the Week for Kickoff Weekend. Then we remembered that we hadn’t had a poll in a while and thought we’d leave it to the readers to make the call.
I would elect the butthead from Buffalo’s special teams, but then Chicago’s longsnapper comes along and audibles the shit out of things.
Eh, let’s go with Cutler.
By : paper
09.15.2009 @ 4:28 PM
not seeing the option to vote for the Texans’ OC. The Schaub/Johnson/Slaton FF mothership is listing.
By : Outshined_One
09.15.2009 @ 4:33 PM
Lovie Smith will challenge the existence of anyone put in his path for the Least of the Week.
By : Dan Snyder's Fantasy Team
09.15.2009 @ 4:42 PM
What, no option for the whole Washington Redskins offense?
Tom Brady better watch out. Joe Namath is quite protective over his woman.
By : SteelScouser
09.15.2009 @ 4:49 PM
Hines is to the Bus as Delhomme is to Jake Plummer ’99
By : James Harrison will taste manflesh!
09.15.2009 @ 4:51 PM
“I’ll tear your nuts off and have Aaron Schobel run them back for six.”
A+ for that.
For least of the week, Parker had no blocking. Cutler has nobody to throw to. Delhomme it is.
By : LaFavre's Next Interception
09.15.2009 @ 4:51 PM
Delhomme is who we thought he was. Cutlerfucker’s preseason buildup was so big, and his performance so shockingly bad, that he gets my vote. Plus, he reminds me of Jeff George a little, huge arm, little brain.
By : Ryno
09.15.2009 @ 5:05 PM
The bears are a 5 win team at best.
By : BUkkake Night in Canada
09.15.2009 @ 5:08 PM
Add that homo Tom Brady to the meast of the week.
By : Dmac
09.15.2009 @ 5:10 PM
I’m a Bears fan, and you have to give it to numbnuts Cutler. Throwing off his back foot into double coverage, throwing off his back foot across the field – looked like the second coming of Sexy Rexy.
By : FEAST
09.15.2009 @ 5:14 PM
Hopping on a meme while it’s only slightly old? Hopping on a meme while it’s only slightly old.
By : Mike From Stumptown
09.15.2009 @ 5:32 PM
Where are the St. Louis Rams? They were the only team to get shut out over the (extended) weekend.
By : Fucktard
09.15.2009 @ 5:39 PM
As sad as Delhomey was, it’s Cutlerfucker for the win!
By : Grimey
09.15.2009 @ 5:48 PM
No love for Sabby Piscitelli?
Yeah, I don’t know who he is either.
By : my nuts your chin
09.15.2009 @ 5:56 PM
I wish my fantasy team’s trio of Stevens (Jackson, Smith, and Slaton) were a composite candidate for Least of the Week. They combined for about 11 points. And to think I was so happy after the first three rounds of the draft…
By : Mo Charlo
09.15.2009 @ 6:03 PM
Not to sound like I’m defending Brady here, but his hustling DID afford us a rare full-body view of Suzy. Can’t be all bad.
By : Jay
09.15.2009 @ 6:08 PM
When I drafted him, I imagined I’d be getting more than seven poxy points a game.
By : Rikadyn
09.15.2009 @ 6:54 PM
Least you don’t have Santana Moss getting ya 1.6pts…
By : make it snow
09.15.2009 @ 7:58 PM
DeAngelo Hall deserves a lifetime achievement award, but this week I don’t think it gets any less (?) than Jake Delhomme.
By : Head Bee Guy
09.15.2009 @ 8:02 PM
While Cutler’s expectations were far higher, I’ve never before watched a game where I was expecting a defensive touchdown on every single play. Gotta go Delhomme.
By : Mike from Stumptown
09.15.2009 @ 8:29 PM
At least your WR didn’t puss out at gametime. *COUGH* Steve Breaston *COUGH*
/deserved it for starting him
//immediately put him on waivers
2. Roy Williams. No, you just couldn’t play the tipped ball. You just had to go for the big hit to lay out Marshall, opening things up for Stokely.
By : martinriggs
09.15.2009 @ 10:18 PM
@ Ape: Leodis McKelvin is lucky Stefen Djordjevic & Bosco weren’t around to fuck his shit up. Just have “Rifleman take a knee” DICK!
By : jackin'4beats
09.15.2009 @ 11:22 PM
You’re supposed to vote in the poll, not on the player’s lawn!
Leodis better thank his lucky stars he’s not a Colombian soccer player.
Jeez does no one in Buffalo have anything to do but eat, drink and act like a retard when your team loses again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, and again?
I mean c’mon people…
By : JaysonAych
09.16.2009 @ 12:31 AM
I voted for Delhomme, but I wanted to vote for the entire Carolina organization for letting that happen. They needed to dump Delhomme’s ass two or three years ago, but for some reason the Panthers keep bullshitting themselves that they’re just hunky-dory at QB.
By : Tecmo Bowl Bo Jackson
09.16.2009 @ 12:42 AM
I also went with Delhomme. Frankly I’m baffled he’s been the starting QB for six years now in Carolina. His days have got to be numbered after his performance on Sunday.
By : DaydreamBilliever
09.16.2009 @ 8:19 AM
i had to vote McKelvin on principle, but Delhomme’s gotta be the weiner here. did like Fox get drunk and hit on him and now Delhomme has some sort of blackmail thing going? he should’ve been cut after his playoff showing, but here he goes showing it wasn’t a fluke like all the Panthers fans hoped.
By : Sea Otter
09.16.2009 @ 10:08 AM
Delhomme in a walk. John Fox is going to get his ass fired because he couldn’t admit that Delhomme was done as an NFL starting QB. They could have brought in Vick for nothing, for Christ’s sake.
By : Vince Wilspork
09.16.2009 @ 10:36 AM
I’m a Patriots fan and even I had to vote for Delhomme over McKelvin.
Delhommes last two professional football games: 24 completions, 9 interceptions, 1 touchdown.
Yikes. Good job Carolina. That’s 20 million in guaranteed money well spent.
By : Spatula
09.16.2009 @ 10:43 AM
For running down his douchiness, the matron saint defines “clutch.” For asking, “How does it feel to win the game?” she decided to channel PK and become concrete cyanide.
/Who can’t create a KSK mashup?
By : synapticmisfires
09.16.2009 @ 1:11 PM
Delhomme is the obvious pick, but I sort of have to go with McKelvin. Delhomme was just awful, horrible, pathetic all game long but McKelvin deliberately ran the ball directly into a situation that everyone in America knew was going to end badly. Delhomme might not be able to help sucking ass, whereas McKelvin definitely chose to suck ass.
By : synapticmisfires
09.16.2009 @ 1:15 PM
What a strong, diverse field of candidates this week though. Definitely a good week for bad football. How are there not some Bengal DBs on that list though? Maybe Leon Hall and Roy Williams could run as a ticket?
By : Paroxysmic
09.16.2009 @ 2:15 PM
God I’m going to miss Emmitt this year, both in the booth and in KSK posts. Both made me laugh without fail every time they showed up.
That being said, Carolina needs to resize that they must masturbate the ball down the feel if theyre going to have any Chancy Stuckey at winning at this professionalism revel. Delhomme throws too many misconceptions right into the deer fence.
By : Big Jeezy
09.17.2009 @ 11:18 AM
The fact that you didn’t automatically give this To DelHomme makes me doubt that you’ve ever watched a football game in your life. I’ve never seen a QB so prolifically distribute suck all over the field as efficiently as Jake did. When you get benched for Josh McCown, you’re done.