If you watched the end of the Broncos-Patriots game as I did, you remember sitting there for a solid minute or two after Matt Prater’s game winning kick as CBS cameras gleefully followed Bill Belichick around as he tried to search through the crowd on the field, in vain, for his lost love Josh McDaniels. It was just like the subway scene at the end of Crocodile Dundee.
Belichick wandered around for ages in his gay little hat, looking around for McDaniels so he could grudgingly shake his hand. “mumblemumble where is that little fucker so I can get this over with mumblemumble.” All the while, you have Jim Nantz being a fucking dipshit and telling you how much these two love one another and how much respect they have for one another. They should just call Nantz the fucking Whitewasher and get it over with. EVERYONE GETS ALONG IN NANTZLAND!
Then, eventually, at the end of the above video, Belichick starts running toward the tunnel and gives that “oh, fuck it” look and jogs in the tunnel without ever having seen McDaniels. It’s a delight of comic unfulfillment. “mumblemumble well FUCK HIM THEN, I guess mumblemumble”. Meanwhile, McDaniels is on the other side of the field going all Howard Dean on the crowd BEEYAAAWWWWW!!!! All by himself. Is there anything these two men do that doesn’t plumb the nadir of social awkwardness?
Anyway, your Broncos were certainly measty this week, BUT NOT ENOUGH! Your meast of the week is Matt Hasselbeck of the Seahawks.
I know Peyton is already guaranteed the MVP. But holy shit, does Seattle miss this man when he’s gone. There may not be a larger drop in quality from starter to backup anywhere else in the league. It’s staggering how awful they are with Seneca Wallace at the helm, and how capable they are when Hasselbeck is healthy. Also, Hasselbeck isn’t married to a screechy yapcunt.
For this week’s Least of the Week, there was some debate. Do you give it to Horse Balls for completing just two passes, or do you give it to the team that LOST to Horse Balls and his two formidable completed passes? Such a tough choice… no, no. We have to go Horse Balls. Man, that was one historically shitty passing day.