Wooo, Sunday Night Football! Oh wait, Steelers-Ravens? Can I downgrade that “Wooo” to a “Meh”?
Yes, it’s Pittsburgh versus Baltimore in the race for second place in the AFC North. The Steelers are without Ben Roethlisberger, backup QB Charlie Batch, and Head & Shoulders spokesmodel Troy Polamalu. In place of Roethlis-Batch will be rookie fifth-round draft pick and former Oregon Duck Dennis Dixon, who — as Cris Collinsworth will tell you several times tonight — has only thrown one pass in the NFL until now.
Thus, in order for the game to stay interesting tonight, we’ll need to cull all the hate these two teams inspire. I hate the Steelers. Christmas Ape hates the Ravens. Ravens fans hate Christmas Ape. Ed Reed hates not throwing laterals. 21st century industry hates both cities. And EVERYONE hates Ray Lewis. HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE!!!!!!!!!!