WOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! It feels as if a weight has been lifted off the DC metro area’s collective shoulders. Vinny Cerrato, sworn enemy of all those who don’t hate the Redskins, is finally gone after resigning this morning. As sick as it sounds, this is probably the most satisfying moment Redskins fans have experienced in several years (decades?).
Before we go any further let me just say, ENJOY UNEMPLOYMENT YOU WEASELLY LITTLE FUCKWIT!
Jesus, that feels really good. REALLY FUCKING GOOD. It’s like all of my synapses are firing in unison. Endorphins are doing endorphiny things. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Whew. Okay, enough celebrating. It’s time for some wild speculatin’! Who is going to be the Redskins new GM (or VP of whatever the fuck they want to call it)?
Bruce Allen – Jay Glazer is already reporting that the former Bucs GM and son of legendary Redskins coach George Allen is already in negotiations with Dan Snyder to be the team’s next GM. Because hey, it’s not like Snyder gives a shit about the Rooney Rule. They could side-step the whole “interview a minority candidate” thing by giving Allen a title like VP of Player Personnel. If Allen is the choice then it would only be natural for THIS GUY to become the team’s new head coach. BUT HE HAS A CONTRACT WITH ESPN! A meaningless, easily broken contract. Think of all the goodwill a Gruden hire would generate. Not for Redskins fans, because we’re happy enough as is, but for football fans at large who would surely celebrate anything that gets Gruden out of the MNF booth.
Mike Shanahan – Fuck that. If they were going to hire Shanahan they would have fired Zorn and kept Vinny.
Charley Casserly – This would be kind of awesome, but for it to happen Snyder would have to admit he was wrong to fire Casserly in the first place, and there’s no fucking way that happens.
Mike Holmgren – The timing of Vinny’s departure certainly makes you think Snyder has Holmgren on the mind. The former Seahawks boss wants to settle on a new destination by the end of the year, and he’s been getting pretty cozy with Cleveland. But again, fuck that. Do not want. The Redskins need to hire a new GM, which is why Allen is going to be the choice.
UPDATE: It’s going to be Allen.