This Man Deserves The Badassest Nickname Humanly Possible

By: 12.01.09  •  337 Comments


This is Chris Johnson. Right now, Chris Johnson is, hands down the best running back in football. I mean, really. HOLY FUCKING SHIT, this man is a beast. He averages 6.4 yards a carry. He could easily top 2,000 yards by year’s end. The idea of facing him in fantasy makes my balls quiver. The man is a badass.

But he’s got no nickname. We can’t let this shit stand. A player this awesome deserves a handle worthy of his play. So we a KSK came together (an ideation!) and tried to come up with a name for Johnson that would stick. Here was that list:

-Magic Johnson
-Powder Blue Jesus

As you can see, we failed miserably. But then we snorted Ritalin, and gave it another go:

-Cop Speed
-Long Johnson
-Dashville Hennessy
-Black Dwarf
-Judge Dreads

Okay, those are also all fairly weak. Except Cop Speed. So we need your help. In the comments, give us your best nicknames possible for Chris Johnson. Something cool, like Rocketcock. I dunno. GO NUTS. Winning name gets enshrined in KSK lore forevermore. Go, go!

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