Mike Tomlin: We’re a group of professionals with a job that needs to be done. No one knows that more than us. The standard is still the standard. And the standard is winning. Like most, we’ve had to deal with our share of adversity to get to this destination, this proving ground, you could call it. It’s a credit to this team, a testament to our fortitude, that they were able to overcome whereas some others might not have. But we know this is not the end of the road. We are focused on the task laid out before us. The circus is nothing new. We have nothing to add to it. We’re just taking this in stride and trying to have a little fun. As the saying goes, this is not our first rodeo.
Mike Tomlin: Like I was saying, we’ve chosen to draw attention to ourselves and embrace the “bad guy role,” in that we’re openly antagonizing the league through the media. Some might say it’s a little reckless, but this is an approach we’ve taken all season. From that standpoint, we’re comfortable with it. It’s a situation I’m sure 30 other teams would be glad to find themselves in. If Roger Goodell shows up on the sideline near the end of this game, I will make it a point to ridicule his person and possibly belittle his manhood. Should I feel comfortable with the status of the game, I might lead a cheer mocking the way he has almost single-handedly ruined the NFL. I would also not hesitate to shove him off the trophy podium. That’s just the kind of team we are. It would be foolish to try to change horses midstream.
Hines Ward: I am alive in Darras. I rasso Supell Bore tighter numbell free. Hippie-High-Ho-Kim-Chi. Lide into sunset as urtimate champion. Can gualantee entlee into Harr of Fame. We am make Tang Dynasty rook rike Putang Dynasty. This joke am make sense to you? We have chance foll make regacy extla stlong! They leemembel us follevel. They make Amellican Westeln movie and we arr stals.
Ben Roethlisberger: HI COWBOY HINES. THE BEN SAW COWBOY IN TOY STORY 3 AND MADE SALT SPIT OUT MY EYESPOT.
WHERE ELSE THE BEN SEE COWPEOPLE?
UH… HINES? NEED HELP WITH FIXING TELEVISION IN THE BATHROOM STALL. IT VERY IMPORTANT FOR GAMEPLAN. WE MIGHT LOSE IF THIS TV DON’T GET FIXED. WILL SIX SHOTS OF JAGER MAKE YOU WANT TO FIX THIS TV?
Mike Tomlin: It appears now that our quarterback has made inappropriate overtures toward one of our wide receivers. If you’d like to follow me, the team has set up a crisis tent in the parking lot for further discussion of this matter. Before you go telling wild stories or engage full-on media meltdown, I would like to reiterate that these sort of allegations are nothing new to this team and we are mentally prepared, as we have been all season, to handle them. I’d be more worried if there were less adversity, to tell the truth. Maybe other people like easy things. That’s not our M.O. and it’s one with a track record of success. It’s not about style points for us. We are about winning by any means necessary, even if those means repel or even disgust you. In fact, I’d like to call in a bomb threat right now. Have it right under Goodell’s stupid narrow ass.