Welcome to another edition of Tom Brady: Troll Genius. When last we left the Patriots starting quarterback, he was winning the first unanimous MVP award in NFL history after riding through Boston Common on his son’s scooter. Before that, of course, he signed an endorsement deal with UGGs. Before that: walked around New York in a Yankees cap. Before that: dumped an impossibly beautiful actress that he’d gotten pregnant for the richest supermodel in the world. Oh, and Super Bowl XLII? Pretty sure he lost that just to piss off Pats fans.
So yeah, Dreamboat’s down in Brazil with Gisele Bundchen for Carnivale, wearing headbands and dancing poorly and drinking out of coconuts:
Denizens of the Internet, I implore you: DO NOT ENGAGE THIS TROLL. There he is, on a balcony above the parade of bedazzled curvaceous Brazilian bodies, drinking from a coconut in the rare moments he’s not bedding his leggy lingerie-model wife. Why is his hair kept in a fashion that you hate? BECAUSE YOU HATE IT. Hell, the whole reason he has long hair is because you like him better with short hair! I assure you, his tropical lanai of unfathomable wealth and sex appeal is deaf to your appeals for good taste.
Listen, people: I hate the Patriots and their racist fans, too, but game respect game: Tom Brady’s trollgaze is impeccable.
(photos via, thanks to U.U. for the tip)