Flubby: “It’s a smedium, bitches.”
Punte: “I call it the Tampa 2, as in Two Snaps Up!”
Your turn, commenters. Make them count, because a picture this fabulous doesn’t come around very often.
Image via Shutdown Corner, h/t to reader Shane.
Wanking motion, bitches.
Fashion: It Gets Better
remember boys, jesus said anyone dressed like this should be tormented into suicide
Our next guest today on Men on Football, is Mr. Timmy Tebow.
It’s not only Jesus that makes me this fabulous… These shorts show my religion to the world!
Coming across this faaaaaaaaantastic photo in an old album is probably the last thing Jaime Dungy ever did.
Dungy holds up picture to teens at gay rehab camp
I too once knew what it was like to be … confused. There IS hope.
Yes, that’s right… I’m a never nude.
Football is fierce, ladies
“I’m telling you guys, you’re going to want that high waist line”
All the gentiles in the house say HEEEEEYYYYY!
“Tell Victor that Tony – the fella he met about a week ago? – tell him that Tony went to the clinic today, and I found out that I have, um, herpes simplex 10, and I think Victor should go check himself out with his physician to make sure everything is fine before things start falling off on the man.”
Now you have to have your wrist at juuuuust the right angle for him to miss your eyes.
“You see, Peter, when Dick [Ebersol] saw this wrist, he knew it was built for the halftime clicker and highlights of Peyton”
Must be getting ready to sweat to the oldies.
“OH NO YOU DIDN’T!”
/snaps 3 times
Bend. and SNAP!
Do these shorts make my junk look too big?
Rex Ryan and the New York Jets on HBO’s Hard Knocks?
I’m just taking it back from those devil-worshiping gays.
No, honey. The name RuPaul is still too manly.
Guuuuuuuuurl, lemme tell you somthin about that scadalous bitch Rex….
Bartles & Jaymes?! Ooooo you know me too well!
Oooooooh gurrrrrrl. Are those the new Jaguars uniforms? Meeeeee-ow!
“Coach Noll, there is a Mister Achmed Foley here to see you… Achnell…? Achwell……Foley is here to see you, he’s an old acquaintance”.
“Hey! There’s a guy burning the Puerto Rican flag!”
I like to suck cock.
How the frick you doin’, ladies!!!
These pants are a symbol of chastity. Its TWICE as hard to remove them.
/hands shorts out to all pupils
Men, have you heard of a new craze sweeping the nation? It’s called being on the Down Low…
Watch me! It’s so simple! Give me the playback! Watch me, faggots!
Throw up your hands
Stick out your tush
Hands on your hips
Give ’em a push
Haters Gonna Hate
door flies open…..
I know it’s pretty baby, but I didn’t take it out for air.
Pimpin’ ain’t easy, but it’s necessary.
BLOCK THAT KICK!
High-waisted isn’t exactly in right now, but I really dig the support. I mean honestly, lift and separate? Get it together by smushing EVERYTHING together.
YOUR NEW NICKNAME DUNGY IS “HOT PANTS” *Slaps ass-pants explode.”
Clap your hands everybody, and everybody clap your hands. We’re Lambda Lambda Lambda and Omega Mu. We come here on stage tonight to do our show for you. We got a rockin’ rhythm and a hi-tech sound that’ll make you move your body down to the ground. We got Poindexter on the violin, and Lewis and Gilbert will be joining in. We got Booger Presley on the mean guitar and a rap by little ol’ me Lamar. We got Takashi beating on his gong, the boys and the Mu’s are clapping along. And just when you thought, ya seen it all, along comes a Lambda four foot tall. So Wormser come on out here on the floor, so we can move our bodies, like never before. Break!
I thought black dudes were supposed to have big dicks
The missing black Festrunk brother.
You bitches is all ig-nant !
I’m super, thanks for asking!
Higher shorts you say?
I MUST get a mani/pedi.
Handjobs still a job…
In honor of Mailbag Day:
“Dear Brother in high, tight and FABULOUS shorts:
My long distance. . . uh, PARTNER. . . says they won’t do anal when we meet up. But I really want to.
soooooooooooooo. . . what do I do?
Yours (AND HOW),
Tony “Merriweather” Dungy”
“Yes. I’m looking for Victor. Victor Matiland.”
“Pinkys IN when we tackle, boys!!”
Two snaps up in Z-Formation ladiesssssssssssss!
Oooh, I’m so pretty I could just jump back and kiss m’self! Smoochessssssss.
“This is the Honey Badger…”
“Look at all them hot pants” – Chief Wiggum
I’m just burning, doin’ the Neutron Dance.
I stole these from Steve Young…How do you like my Magic Mormon underwear?
“White people drive like this…”
Thumb OUTSIDE the knuckles when you grab the shaft.
Is this the Sex/fantasy mailbag?
A look into the dreams of Peter King…right before Brett Favre shows up riding a unicorn and carrying Starbucks for everyone…
“When my mani is dry, I am going to slap the sass out of her!”
I do believe LLUA won the thread.
“Sounds like steam escaping.”
When Tony Dungy goes on the down low, he REALLY goes on the down low, fellas!
“Prince is such a silly little bitch – but the new Sylvester dance mix is to DIE for!”
Throw out your arms, stick out your tush, hands on your hips, give ’em a push! You’ll be surprised you’re doing the French Mistake! Voila!
“Too Tall” Jones comes up…right about here.
Like I said, Gino, LLUA won the thread.
You’ve been declaring winners a lot lately, Otto. That must make the KSK Kommentariat a hive of drones (i.e. non-working males) and you our queen.
hahaha that is disturbing right there.
Seriously, everybody. Don’t go getting soft on me this summer. You’re sitting around the pool all day, chasing the muff around…
Oh look, the new International Male catalog arrived!
I dunno, I thought mine was pretty good…
/shoves hands in pockets
there’s a Charles Haley reference here somewhere
or a “what what in the butt”
i’m lacking the creativity at the moment. maybe someone else can run with the idea
Damn, I came here to declare Lil’ Lebowski the winner here, and Otto beats me to the punch yet again. [Shakes fist] You’ve made a powerful enemy here, my friend…
Wave your hands in the air like you don’t care
Glide by the people as they stop to look and sta…
Word up, this shit ain’t workin – i’m going with all black and a big red codpiece
Oh Michael, I’m here to “counsel” you the way we do in prison. Call me FedEx just like PK does, ‘cuz I’m gonna GIVE you bitches this package!
Zack, I’m with you. Honey Badger ftw!
Oh, fuck. I just did a simple check of the records and Lil Leboswki Urban Underachievers totally scooped me on the “Blazing Saddles” French Mistake reference by two hours. I presented said reference to somebody else’s work as my own reference. Let Tony Dungy serve as my chocolate apology cake.
Candy-gram for Peyton!
Hey now fellas, all these gay jokes are getting a little worn out. Just like my gaping asshole is getting worn out from all the dicks going in and out of there.
Do these effectively hide my thunder?
I’m so wearing this outfit to Bible class tonight!
How the fuck YOU doing, boys?
There are no words.
Oh wait, yes there are – that shirt is SO last season. Do you shop out of a JCPenney catalog, sweetie?
“Just look at this lazy fuck!”
“EW THAT’S FUCKING DISGUSTING.”
You all should be ashamed of yourselves. If a man can’t dress casually when visiting a friend’s summer rental on Fire Island, then I don’t know what we’ve become as a nation.
/leaves office early to make the 4PM Saltaire ferry.
Tight end? Aw, that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.
It was the 70s, we were all so hopped up on amyls and disco we didn’t notice.
Name five pairs of shorts tighter than this. YOU CAN’T!
Let’s see you say no to adding white zin and gruyere to the lunch menu now bitch!
Is this the whitey bulger I’ve been hearing about lately?
Tampa Two Balls !
I just added “fruit smuggler” to my list of credentials, boys. Boom! Yummy!
I’m Ramon Limon, and I approve of this photograph.
@junker23: the id DEFINITELY a +1!
Rare photo; the evert elusive Dungytoe….
His isn’t an orifice as much as it is a smile…
(closet door flies open)
Extra medium shorts make my glutes look so fierce!
Don’t let haters get me off my grind
Whip my hair, if I know I’ll be fine
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