Phew! Shaving seizures are ESPECIALLY dangerous.
“The fingers you have used to tweet are too fat. To obtain a special typing wand, please mash the keyboard with your palm now.”
(more on Patterson at With Leather)
I heard your dad went into a restuarant and ate all the food in the restuarant and they had to close the restuarant.
*restaurant x 3. Dammit.
We now return to Battling Seizure Robots – stay tuned for The Happy Smile Super Challenge Family Wish Show.
I wash myself with a rag on a stick.
“Shaving Seizure” sounds like the title of a weird porn movie.
HEY FATTY! I GOTTA MOVIE FOR YA, A FRIDGE TOO FAR!
I like to think that someone at every camp PK has waddled to has muttered, “Here comes the grease ball!”
Shaving Seizure is a good way to get yourself killed…or at least lose a testicle
Shave every day, and you’ll always look keen.
A small novelty drinking bird writes all my texts.
I am the pregnants.
At the start of camp Rex Ryan called the team into the war room to head off a repeat of all that Eniz Sans nonsense. He began by loudly exclaiming “Jets, get in her.”
08.03.11 at 4:13 pm
PK: Correction, get in here”.
And her name is Ines Sainz. Good god that was some strong herb.
poor clucking funt
Open Valve? Y-E-S.
Vent Radioactive gas? Y….
MARGE! I just tripled my productivity!
Well, sir, many of our clients find pants confining, so we offer a range of alternatives for the ample gentleman: ponchos, muumuus, capes, jumpsuits, unisheets,
muslim body rolls, academic and judicial robes —
I don’t want to look like a weirdo. I’ll just go with a
Exactly why I don’t manscape.
“Sorry folks. I meant shaving BEAVER at Phil practice this morning.”
Don’t make me run! I’m full of chocolate!
And I’m sure PK’s mobile device is way to small so combine that with his gravy fingers you get brilliant typos like the one above.
Off-topic: I just saw a picture of Cam Newton next to DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart. Holy shit Cam is YUUUUGE. He looks like a football version of Shaq. And he fortunately doesn’t suffer from Culpepper hands (way too small) so he shouldn’t fumble the ball everytime he gets sacked…and he will get sacked. Too bad that won’t help the Panthers suck any less, but thought I would share.
Dammit. I laughed out loud when I read the “The fingers you have used…” part and I had to spend five minutes explaining Peter King to the wife. She couldn’t understand why he still has a job. I guess, neither can I…
Hey, what is the joke about the epileptic women that has the punch line “OK boys; LET HER GO!!” ?
@j4b: ” suffer from Culpepper hands (way too small)” but that’s why Randy Moss’ cock looks so huge.
If I had to attend Dr. Phil practice, I’d have a seizure too.
“I never should have put you in charge!” – PK to USO bus driver, after they inexplicably drove past this place: [www.loftybean.com]
(Good coffee. Lofty coffee.)
@Maurice Levy, Esq.; that is an independant business and not a chain, they most likely make great coffees,: PK would NEVER stop there. And thank you for googling lofty coffee.
In all fairness to PK, it is difficult to type when you’re injecting yourself with a syringe full of Starbucks Komodo Dragon Blend.
I’m still trying to figure out who at the USO thought PK would be a morale booster for the troops.
Cheerleaders, popular musicians, athletes, coaches, Peter King
One of these is not like the other.
Sir, if you’d just quiet down, I’d be happy to treat you to a garbage bag full of popcorn.
PK “I’m gay.”
2 hours later
“Pardon me. I’m happy.”
Peter is going to have to do more Iroquois Twists for this.
I read this one, and being familiar with his typical football coverage, totally took it literally:
SI_PeterKing: What was fun about being with Falcons in such a crazy week is I got to see how the sausage is made. W/Dimitroff till 1:30 am Saturday.
Dimitroff: (looks up from giant split-screen of CNN/PFT) Oh hey, Peter you’re here already! I’ll call down to the kitchen for the VIP tour!
PK: WHAT A COUNTRY! Do they have lemons? I can show you this quaint German beer I found, Paulaner. Don’t you think Cam Newton is totally a douche?
Anyone who retweets Peter King should be banned from twitter. And put on an island somewhere.
Not one of the good islands either; one like they put Survivor Man on with the giant cockroaches.
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