Don’t mind me, just putting this here so we all can have it forever. My thanks to reader Kevin for sharing this golden little treasure of football fandom.
What’s more sad? No Pey Pey or fat humps sporting the Jim Harbaugh throwbacks? Yeesh.
Every time the Colts were mentioned yesterday – and it wasn’t often – the announcers sounded annoyed. “Oh, looks the the…Colts, is it?…lost.” Neck Aids, one of the greatest descriptions ever.
Maybe he’s just sad because his dad (hopefully?) is the kind of guy who buys a kicker’s jersey.
Or Harbaugh? Is that even worse?
@winnebagowarrior, might not be better, but i think that’s Vinatieri
“Yes, Yes, Oh, let me taste your tears, fat hump! Mm your tears are so yummy and sweet. Oh the tears of unfathomable sadness! My-yummy! My-yummy you guys!”
You’re right, it’s gotta be Vinatieri but Harbaugh sounds better.
/dating myself badly
It’s poutine, son. You’ll be able to stomach three of them eventually.
“ha ha” in the voice of Nelson Muntz
Can’t wait to hear the talk radio on the way home tonight. It’ll be a mix of “Sky is Falling” and “Don’t feel too bad, Colt McCoy is a star in this league.”
Years of watching the Fat-Humps annually buttrape us into oblivion has caused this implosion of a team to be my favorite story line of the year, and I’ll be there with popcorn hoping to see the Colts pop up on RedZone, just to laugh when they inevitably fail again.
0-16 baby, you can do it!
Yeah this is getting rough. Gotta endure it though. The worst consequence will be the Invasion of the Massholes in February.
How do we know he hasn’t just fallen asleep?
If Calwell gets the boot at the end of the season could the new face of the Colts be …
Son, I am disappoint.
I see that it’s been mentioned that Dad-Hump is wearing a kicker’s jersey (and not just a kicker, but a kicker that will be forever remembered as the K on the “rival” team that won all the Super Bowls the Humps were “supposed” to win)…but what if Dad Hump was actually helping buffer Bob Kravitz’s moronic calls for Favre? Because, really, nothing would be better than to see the Humps take it deep in their cottage-cheesed asses not as a result of inept QB play, but from QB play that’s marginally above average until the playoffs, when the game could end on a disasterously horrid INT, ala the Land Baron.
Oh wait, that’s how Peyton ended playoff games too…amirightneworleans?
Fuck the Colts. This implosion is just the start of what Irsay has earned. And by that logic, look for the Orioles to, I don’t know, relocate to the 4th circle of hell in a decade or so thanks to Angelos. Or something.
suck for luck!
At least they still live in the culturally rich gourmet’s delight known as Indianapolis.
Sorry, Humps… in 14 more weeks, the Kansas City Chiefs will have a franchise QB. Just like you did in ’98. You don’t get to do it two times in a row.
Suck for Luck!
You know Colts, it was a fun ride. At least Bill Polian was successful in obtaining a Superbowl with the Colts ( thanks in part to the Sex Cannon) as supposed to his prior team, the Buffalo bills.
/Looks at UU*
//Apologizes profusely. Gives hope that the Bills can win it in Humpalopolis. Anybody but Red SAWX NATION Inc..
///Drowns self in gravy and lard with Monkey Biz’s help
Schadenfreude. Sweet delicious schadenfreude.
Mmm, tastes like schadenfreude. Goes well with a shrimp cocktail and some sugar cream pie.
Aw, the poor little fella. His first game and Pey Pey has neck aids, and dad just told him he lost his job because the RV factory is closing. And there won’t be any more ice cream, or much to eat, ’cause mom spent all the rainy day money on meth.
It sucks being a kid in Indianapolis. I really feel your pain Indy.
I think what would make this sad ride even more delicious would be when the Greatriots show up, they play to a tie.
It would fuck 2 of the teams I hate the most.
Fetus Cells + Fetus Head = late season run for the Championship.
Oh god, Massholes coming to Indy in Feburary. We will never hear the end of Tawwmy going ” We gahve ah youah BAWSTWNS Greatest WHITEMAN OF ALL LARRY LEGEND!! Time tah payah back us the favahor! NO ONE DENIES THIS!!”
/Drowns in more gravy.
Life is so unfair sometimes
That fan just saw on the scoreboard that Pitt is coming to town next week and had a sudden bathroom related flashback.
Yeah, poor baby. It must be tough to deal with all of those AFC South crowns, the playoff wins, the Superbowl tropy…
Gosh, I just feel so sorry them. Thank goodness I’m a Texans fan. We don’t get hurt by losses. We prepare for them.
*trophy. Son of a bitch.
@Mike Cox just got cut
Unfortunately, sometimes you do. See Packers, Green Bay.
/Fuck the Packers
//Fuck the Bears’ management more
“Try being a Dolphins Fan you fucking pussy.”
Hey, Kerry Collins had a reception on the very next play! Not all bad, kiddo.
Chin up, Future Diabetic, at least you have a pleasant enough airport.
Not going to lie, I hope this misery keeps going, and Luck becomes the Ryan Leaf to say, Matt Barkley’s… uh… Peyton Manning
that is after the humps go 0-16 and get the first pick
Once again, stampedeblue.com has become mandatory reading for all your hilarious fat hump whingeing needs. Exhibit A:
When Bob Kravitz of the Indianapolis Star isn’t making useless opinion columns calling for the Colts to sign Brett Favre (what?), he’s tweeting veiled insults at the Colts fanbase:
“Remember, this franchise has won 10-plus and made post-season for over a decade. That should buy them some goodwill, doncha think?”
First off, this franchise has been to the playoff nine straight years, not ten.
Second, goodwill isn’t accomplished by the Colts franchise simply ‘winning’ a lot over a ten-year period. . . Now, obviously, ‘sprinkled’ into that mix of nine years of making the playoffs are three trips to the AFC Championship Game, two Super Bowls, and one championship. That’s nothing to dismiss.
However, during that same period of time, I’ve watched the front office act in a way that was unprofessional to media and indignant towards the fanbase. . . . I also don’t buy into this silly and rather demeaning concept that winning is, somehow, doing a ‘favor’ to the fans, as if we should appreciate it, or something.
This might be a newsflash to some, but winning isn’t a gift. It’s f*cking expected.
You can’t make this shit up.
That kid’s going to need neck surgery if he’s not careful.
It’s not the Colts, it’s the diabetus.
I guess we’ve finally settled the Brady or Manning debate.
It could be worse. They’re lucky enough to live in a state named after American war hero and refrigerator tester Indiana Jones. Or his childhood dog, I forget which.
I’d do her.
He went to a restaurant and ate all the food in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant.
He’s in Europe having Peyton’s leftover stem cells injected in his stomach. He’s hoping it grows, so he’s able to eat 3 sugar pies, 5 Steak and Shake Triples and 2 Lbs of shrimp cocktail before going the Indiana for some butter fritters.
I, for one, will give Jim Caldwell and the Colts no guff if they want to go ahead and rest their starters in Weeks 14-17.
Where is that annoying shithead Monkey Business at?
“Son, this is what happens when you spend the off-season fellating Kenny Chesney!!!”
He’s just upset because the food vendor above his section ran out of lard-covered hot dogs.