Lofty midget reference, and the Tebow pic made me pree my pants.
For the Schaub pic though, i would have gone with:
You are privy to a great becoming, but you recognize nothing. To me, you are a slug in the sun. You are an ant in the afterbirth. It is your nature to do one thing correctly. Before me, you rightly tremble. But, fear is not what you owe me. YOU OWE ME AWE.
Man, “streakers” are getting lazier and lazier. First they stop going full nekkid and leave their skivvies on, now they leave their jeans on. That’n not even a streaker, just some drunk dude running on the field. The next “streaker” will be fully clothed.